Daily Dialogue: Mirror Addictions

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 24, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Jasmine
I just wanna say thanks for helping me all these years.

Kelly
What? Don’t mention it. What’re friends for, right?

Jasmine
There are plenty of friends who wouldn’t help an addict. Fuck, I wouldn’t have helped me. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.

Kelly
Just stay clean. That’ll say enough for me.

Jasmine
You look good now.

Kelly
You’re just saying that because I helped save your life.

Jasmine
No, really. You look really good. You’ve lost so much weight.

Kelly
It’s been two months since we’ve seen each other last, so I probably look a lot different now.

Jasmine
Yeah, I didn’t wanna say anything when we hugged earlier, but I can finally make my fingers touch.

Kelly
I was thinking the same thing.

Jasmine
How’d you do it?

Kelly
Gave up sugar.

Jasmine
That’s it?

Kelly
Pretty much. I mean, sugar was a major part of my life for a long, long time.

Jasmine
Remember when I used to wake up to you drinking a syrup you made out of sugar and water?

Kelly
Yes. And I hoped you had forgotten that.

Jasmine
How could I? It was my sugar.

Kelly
I know, I know. I was a fat ass. Now, I’m a slightly-fat ass.

Jasmine
What made you quit?

Kelly
It became increasingly aware to me that I might not make it to 50, with all the sugar I was eating and the fact that diabetes has carved a large swath through my family tree.

Jasmine
Who’s left?

Kelly
My father. Dunno for how long, though. I don’t mean it so morbidly, but he’s old, y’know? And he’s got the beetus.

Jasmine
Did you quit all at once, or stretched it out?

Kelly
I don’t have the constitution or the fortitude to baby myself through any habit-kicking. I scorched the earth until it was coated in caramel.

Jasmine
Wow, that’s bold. What was that like?

Kelly
I cried. A lot.

Jasmine
Why?

Kelly
I LOVE candy and sugar. And I spent an embarrassing amount of money on them. I wasn’t just burning my addiction. I was making ashes the gross national product of a small nation.

Jasmine
It wasn’t that bad.

Kelly
It looked like it.

Jasmine
What was transitioning like? You lived a life with sugar and suddenly cut it out of your life. That must not’ve been an easy experience.

Kelly
No, not at all. Not one bit.

Jasmine
Did you get the D.T.’s?

Kelly
The what?

Jasmine
Delirium Tremens. The shakes.

Kelly
Oh. No, none of that. I just got REALLY sad for, like, two weeks.

Jasmine
Why?

Kelly
I didn’t know for a while, but I figured that it was because I wasn’t getting any dopamine.

Jasmine
Oh yeah, sugar’s phenomenal for that.

Kelly
I know, Jasmine. For two weeks, I was quite aware of that fact.

Jasmine
Were you suicidal?

Kelly
As close as you can get to it without reaching for the shotgun.

Jasmine
Wow.

Kelly
But it takes about two weeks for your brain to wire a new routine into itself, so I was better with Week Three. Then the pounds started rolling off.

Jasmine
That doesn’t happen unless your diet was mostly one thing.

Kelly
It fucking was, Jasmine. Looking back, I’m amazed they didn’t take my foot years ago.

Jasmine
And now, you can fit old shirts because I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you wear this one.

Kelly
It’s not old. It’s new. It’s all new.

Jasmine
What do you mean?

Kelly
I had to buy a new wardrobe because I couldn’t fit anything anymore.

Jasmine
Wow. Good job. Your wallet might not think so, though.

Kelly
The money I saved from buying junk food went to buying clothes, so it didn’t know better.

Jasmine
…how much junk did you buy?

Kelly
Don’t look at me like that. This all came from Goodwill.

Jasmine
Why not Salvation Army?

Kelly
They hate gays.

Jasmine
Ah.

Kelly
I shouldn’t have chucked away everything, though.

Jasmine
Why not?

Kelly
Because I know I’ll get fat again.

Jasmine
…what?

Kelly
I know I’ll probably crack and go back to sugar someday. So I’ll enjoy being skinnier for as long as it lasts.

Jasmine
Fuck you.

Kelly
Excuse me?

Jasmine
Fuck. You. Kelly.

Kelly
Where’s this coming from?

Jasmine
Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?

Kelly
Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?

Jasmine
Are you really that blind?

Kelly
I guess fucking so, since I don’t have a clue what the fuck your problem suddenly is.

Jasmine
I thought that with you kicking sugar, you were finding out what it was like with me and heroin.

Kelly
Heroin’s a little worse than sugar. Just a little.

Jasmine
That’s not the fucking point! You were just as addicted as I was. I thought you saw that.

Kelly
You’re just being overly dramatic.

Jasmine
No, I’m not, you heartless bitch!

Kelly
I think you need to relax.

Jasmine
You really don’t know what this means, do you?

Kelly
No, bitch. Enlighten me.

Jasmine
What you’re saying is that it’s ok to be strong against an addiction, for a little while.

Kelly
You’re putting fucking words in my mouth, that’s what you’re doing.

Jasmine
No, I’m just pointing out what I see. What you can’t see. We had this conversation once, but we were in different places.

Kelly
I think I’d remember telling you that you were a sugar addict.

Jasmine
Fuck, stop making this about fucking sugar!

Kelly
YOU’RE the one who said it was like heroin!

Jasmine
Four years ago. My birthday. Remember it?

Kelly
I’m surprised that you do.

Jasmine
I don’t. I only know about it because you told me. I was so wasted. It was after I relapsed.

Kelly
I know. I had to carry you to the tub because you shit yourself and was too far gone to even crawl. How is this like sugar?

Jasmine
Would you ever let that happen to you?

Kelly
Let what happen to me?

Jasmine
Would you ever want sugar so badly that you wouldn’t care if you shit yourself, as long as you got some?

Kelly
This isn’t about me.

Jasmine
Yes, it fucking is! Would you?!

Daily Dialogue: Winglady in the Hard-Gay Fields

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 15, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Maggie
How do you feel about boys?

Penny
Boys as in boys, or boys as in men?

Maggie
The latter, but feel free to comment on the former.

Penny
They’re ok. Why?

Maggie
I think I want one.

Penny
…which?

Maggie
The latter.

Penny
But you’re–

Maggie
I’m kidding. I love women too much for that.

Penny
You almost scared me.

Maggie
Almost? I can smell your sweat.

Penny
One: gross. Two: stop it.

Maggie
I wanted to say that I’m ready for a relationship.

Penny
I get to finally play wingman– wingwoman– winglady in a gay club?

Maggie
From rainbow flags to dykes and fags.

Penny
You… You can say those words?

Maggie
Semantic satiation.

Penny
English.

Maggie
You say a word enough times to rob it of its power, good or bad.

Penny
Does it work?

Maggie
Most of the time, but any word can be used positively or negatively. We call each other “bitch.”

Penny
Every chance we get.

Maggie
But if I were to call you, say, a potato–

Penny
I’d resist every urge to toss my chair at you.

Maggie
So, yeah.

Penny
The gay world is fine with people saying dy… dy…

Maggie
Dykes and fags, you can say it. And no, we trolls under the rainbow bridge aren’t fine with those words.

Penny
But you said them.

Maggie
It’s complicated. As my winglady, it’s best if you just abstain from those two words.

Penny
Ok. What do I call gay women and men, then?

Maggie
I’ve been partial to Sapphos and Queermos.

Penny
You made those up.

Maggie
One of them. Everyone knows about lesbians, but no one knows why they’re called that. It’s because of the myth of Sappho. She loved her some womens. And the women lived on the island of Lesbos. For some reason, people gravitated towards the island instead of the woman who lay waste to it.

Penny
And Queermos?

Maggie
It’s like Sapphos, only for dudes.

Penny
Has it caught on?

Maggie
No, not really. People look at me funny, then I have to explain things.

Penny
So why keep saying them?

Maggie
Because I like using them. And I’m hopeful.

Penny
Which gay club are we going to?

Maggie
Probably the most non-threatening one, in your case.

Penny
Why?

Maggie
Because you’re cute, and there’s no tasteful sign that you can carry saying that you don’t have the gay. Instead of worrying about you carried off during the night by a pack of Sapphos, it’ll be best to find a club that enjoys gays and straights.

Penny
But won’t I have to deal with dude-bros?

Maggie
Yeah, but women don’t give up.

Penny
And guys do? We can go to a club that goes hard-gay, I don’t mind. I can get belligerent if a woman doesn’t get the hint. We’ll be there for you, anyway, not me. I could also use the ego boost.

Maggie
Heh, fair enough.

Penny
Which club have you been to that’s gone the hardest-gay?

Maggie
Wow, the hardest-gay… There was one where women had no problem fucking in booths.

Penny
Yeah, I don’t wanna go to that one. I’m not a prude, I just don’t wanna catch an STD along with the beat.

Maggie
No, I get it. I was only there once.

Penny
Did you enjoy a booth?

Maggie
Mmmmaybe.

Penny
What’s in second-place?

Maggie
I think we can do that one. It had women in cages.

Penny
Ooo.

Maggie
“Ooo?”

Penny
I always wanted to dance in a cage.

Maggie
…really? What the fuck, why?

Penny
Are you kidding? Dancing as sexy as I want while everyone’s all looky and no touchy?

Maggie
Well, I guess we’re going to that one.

Penny
Yippee-skip!

Maggie
You know I’m gonna record you when you get in one.

Penny
That’s why I’m not gonna until you have your hands on some Sappho’s ass.

Maggie
Damnit. Well played, detective.

Penny
Thank you, thank you. Why do you want a relationship now?

Maggie
I just feel it’s time.

Penny
Your biological clock’s ticking?

Maggie
Only counts if you want a baby.

Penny
Oh yeah. So there’s no other reason?

Maggie
No, should there be?

Penny
Most people do it because they’re tired of being lonely.

Maggie
I’m not most people, though, am I?

Penny
Nah.

Maggie
It’s like when you have a taste for something all of a sudden.

Penny
You wanna taste a gal’s panty hamster, eh?

Maggie
I can do that whenever I want. I’d rather taste just one gal’s panty hamster for a while, besides mine. See how that works.

Penny
Aww, so romantic.

Maggie
As romantic as I’m gonna get.

Penny
I know. I’ve been around you on a few Valentine’s Days.

Maggie
You’re not gonna ask the obvious question?

Penny
Obvious?

Maggie
Why I’m looking for love in a club?

Penny
I got so excited by being a winglady and a cage dancer that I glossed over it. Yeah, why are you wookin’ pa nub in a club?

Maggie
Dating sites have never been good to me. I’m more of a tactile gal.

Penny
Doesn’t the mad bass yo make it hard to conversate?

Maggie
We just have to get a little closer, darling.

Penny
Heh, I get ya. I should pick out a skirt. Fuck that, I’m gonna buy a skirt.

Maggie
Um, that might be a problem.

Penny
Why?

Maggie
Because the cage is suspended. People can look up.

Penny
Let ’em! Heck, I’ll go commando, give ’em a real show.

Maggie
You’re not supposed to attract attention if you don’t want it, Penny.

Penny
I’ll be in a cage.

Daily Dialogue: The Musican Uprising

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Janet
This line is insane.

Paris
That flagpole has been mocking me for hours now.

Janet
Yeah, look at it standing there. Jerk.

Paris
We should knock it down.

Janet
Are you mad? And lose our place?

Paris
Yeah, you’re right. It’s just nerves…

Janet
It’s ok, I understand. Whose turn is it to see if the band’s here yet and be disappointed?

Paris
I was disappointed an hour ago, so it’s your turn.

Janet
But I don’t wanna be disappointed again…

Paris
You don’t have to do it now.

Janet
I don’t have to do it now. Why do we put up with it?

Paris
Put up with what?

Janet
The bullshit of musicians. We pay their salaries, damnit. They should at least turn up on time.

Paris
The art life?

Janet
Artists can still tell time. I bet they’ll be watching that clock to see when their concert’s over.

Paris
I’ve never seen a clock in a concert in a concert hall.

Janet
Me either! So– Shit. Watches.

Paris
Shit. Watches.

Janet
So why do we put up with it?

Paris
Because their music means a lot to us?

Janet
Yeah, but we have their albums.

Paris
They don’t get a lot of money from them, so we gotta do what we can for them at shows.

Janet
And yet, they’re late. I don’t completely buy the helpless artist gimmick.

Paris
What do you mean?

Janet
Musicians make the songs, right?

Paris
Last I checked.

Janet
So they’re in control of the product, right?

Paris
One would believe so.

Janet
Why don’t they act like it, then?

Paris
A record exec’s not gonna listen to a musician.

Janet
Why not? All those musicians in that Tidal commercial–

Paris
Tidal?

Janet
The streaming music thing “for artists.”

Paris
Oh yeah, that. Go on.

Janet
If all those musicians REALLY cared… wouldn’t they have gone on the music equivalent of a hunger strike?

Paris
How?

Janet
Like saying, “Oi! We’re not making anything new until musicians get treated better!”

Paris
They can’t afford to do that.

Janet
Did you see that commercial? A sea of millionaires. They could take that stand.

Paris
Britney Spears.

Janet
What about her?

Paris
Have you bought her last album?

Janet
Uh, no.

Paris
Her second album?

Janet
Twice!

Paris
Twice?

Janet
I listened to my first copy so many times that the CD started to warp.

Paris
Now you see.

Janet
See what?

Paris
Why the musicians didn’t take Custer’s Last Stand.

Janet
I don’t follow.

Paris
The music landscape changes so quickly that it’d be easy for someone at the top to tumble.

Janet
I highly doubt that someone’s gonna replace Madonna.

Paris
Don’t they have contracts or whatever to keep them working?

Janet
They can be renegotiated. Especially if they got smart.

Paris
Smart? They seem pretty smart to me.

Janet
Do you know how much Britney Spears probably got paid for the two copies of her second album I bought? Probably a few quarters. MAYBE a dollar. I dropped around 15 bucks a piece. A musician makes the song and the company puts it out. That sounds like a 50/50 partnership to me.

Paris
Thanks.

Janet
For what?

Paris
Helping me prove my point. Musicians are worth a lot more than they’ve been convinced they are. I won’t even get into how much they make from streaming things.

Janet
Wait, I thought we were trying to figure out why we put up with musicians’ bull.

Paris
And now we’re talking about how they need to up-rise. It’s ok, society laughably says that women don’t need to make sense, so I don’t have to.

Janet
You’re not gonna start chasing people around with your bra, are you?

Paris
So you can chase after me and BOTH of us lose our place in line?

Janet
Damn my madness.

Paris
So. Back to causing the musician uprising because we’re tired of their bullshit.

Janet
Being kind because we wanna be cruel?

Paris
Laughable society.

Janet
Gloria Steinem would beat you up for saying that, by the by.

Paris
Camille Paglia would understand, though.

Janet
Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa.

Paris
Are you… Are you having a stroke?

Janet
Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’? Michael Jackson?

Paris
OH! Ok. How do musicians start their uprising?

Janet
Well–

Paris
Wait. Wouldn’t them complaining about money seem like Poor Little Rich Kid?

Janet
Yeah, if we were only talking about the musicians on the Tidal commercial. But we’re not, are we?

Paris
No, not really. Well, maybe Madonna. I still like her.

Janet
She is likable. Especially when she sings Skin.

Paris
Off of Ray of Light?

Janet
The very same.

Paris
I love that song. And album. And her.

Janet
She is lovable. She is also someone who could be Custer.

Paris
Wait. Custer was a racist psychotic.

Janet
Damnit. Do we have any other American martyrs?

Paris
Probably.

Janet
Well, think, woman!

Paris
What ab– THE LINE’S MOVING!! THE LINE’S MOVING!!

Daily Dialogue: Gossip in the Loft

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 13, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Izzie
Wow, she’s pregnant. I can’t see her with a kid. Fuck, I can’t see her fucking.

Melody
I know, right? I can’t see her kissing anyone.

Izzie
I saw it once.

Melody
What? Really? What was that like?

Izzie
Weird. Really, really weird. I was meeting her and her fella somewhere and– There was tongue.

Melody
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww! I mean, she’s a pretty girl.

Izzie
Yeah.

Melody
And she has every right to act like a woman.

Izzie
Of course.

Melody
It’s just…

Izzie
Weird.

Melody
Really weird.

Izzie
Fucking weird. Wow. Pregnant.

Melody
I almost wanna be in the room when she has the baby.

Izzie
To see if she really has girl bits? Me too.

Melody
We’re being too mean.

Izzie
I don’t think I’m being mean.

Melody
We’re kinda being mean, what were we talking about?

Izzie
Nothing, really. We were just catching up while I paint my daisy.

Melody
Oh yeah. I still find it interesting that you paint those.

Izzie
They’re for me now.

Melody
Because no one buys them anymore?

Izzie
Yes and no. All of my paintings are for me and I love each one that I do. If no one bought them, I’d still paint. No one wanting the daisies means that they’re just for me, and I don’t mind being selfish with my art.

Melody
I think the daisies catch people off-guard, and that’s why they don’t sell.

Izzie
Why, because I usually paint murder tableaus?

Melody
Yeah, maybe. The grand guignol crowd tends to not also fawn over flora. At least, not the innocent kind.

Izzie
Excuse me for having variety.

Melody
Hey, aim your darts at someone else. I like the daisies. Maybe they’d sell if you surrounded them with corpses or flayed flesh?

Izzie
No, daisies stay alone. I do like the idea of flowers and flayed flesh, though. Maybe buttercups.

Melody
Why not daisies?

Izzie
Because I’m not into crowd-pleasing so much, and I have a particular idea for daisies.

Melody
Aren’t artists into gratification? Or glorification?

Izzie
Artists are supposed to give people what they need, not what they want. If people got what they wanted, art would become stagnant. With the murder tableaus, it’s a coinkidink that wants and needs mesh.

Melody
Why?

Izzie
Do you like taking cough syrup?

Melody
Like a working girl giving free blowjobs.

Izzie
Do you like washing up?

Melody
Long showers are the best.

Izzie
Coinkidink.

Melody
Do you wanna be famous?

Izzie
I want my work to last at least as long and humans survive.

Melody
Then you wanna be famous.

Izzie
I guess so.

Melody
What about fans? Well, of course you want fans, why else would you put your art out there?

Izzie
I don’t think I want fans.

Melody
Bull-lollipopping-shit.

Izzie
What?

Melody
If you don’t have fans, you don’t survive.

Izzie
If I don’t have money, I don’t survive.

Melody
Then you do it for the money?

Izzie
Fuck no. I do it because I love it. Doing it takes up a lot of my time. If something’s taking up so much of my time that I can’t get a “normal” job, then I have to make money from it. To make money from it, I have to put it out there. Putting it out there, I get fans. So I don’t do it for fandom, but I enjoy having them.

Melody
Do you want a lot or a little?

Izzie
I want enough. Whatever amount matches the effort I put into things.

Melody
You seem pretty effortless, though.

Izzie
To you, maybe.

Melody
I’ve seen you blaze through paintings. I’m sure more people than me would consider that lacking effort.

Izzie
Just because I’m able to work faster than most people doesn’t mean that I lack anything except mind blocks.

Melody
And hand cramps.

Izzie
Heh, I get those like everyone else.

Melody
But let’s be real: you wouldn’t mind being queen.

Izzie
Queen of what?

Melody
Of the art world.

Izzie
I want to be the best. If that means “queen,” I’ll take it. But I don’t want to be the next “insert artist here.” I’d rather be the first. Being the only would be even better.

Melody
The only? Is there room for such originality these days?

Izzie
I’ll make room. The heir apparent to a fated kingdom.

Melody
Fated?

Izzie
In that it hasn’t been built yet, but the land is cleared.

Melody
You’re an oracle as well as an artist now?

Izzie
Dunno. I’m not sure if the future exists.

Melody
Rather dystopic of you.

Izzie
I didn’t mean it in the “…fuck, we’re doomed!” sense. I meant that there’s no way we can prove that the future exists.

Melody
What? Sure, we can.

Izzie
How?

Melody
We have calendars, dummy. And can make plans.

Izzie
But all that happens in the present. There’s no way that we can SEE the future in any sort of way like we can for the now or past.

Melody
Is this the sort of thing you think of when you paint?

Izzie
More like when I comb my hair.

Melody
You do have a lot of it, so I can see why you can waste time like that.

Izzie
Shaving armpits is a waste of time.

Melody
Eww, no. I’m not having this conversation with you.

Izzie
But you’d save yourself so much grief if you–

Melody
Not. Having. This. Convo. Wait, you shave your legs.

Izzie
Yeah, because I’m not a savage.

Daily Dialogue: Harley and Ivy vs. the Brotherhood

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 10, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Harley
I get knocked down! But I get up again! And yer never gonna keep me down! I get kn–

Ivy
Why, in the name of all that’s green, are you singing that song?

Harley
‘Cause it’s true, Red!

Ivy
Could you think of a less-annoying way to be a weeble-wobble?

Harley
A wha? Are ya drunk or somethin’?

Ivy
A weeble-wobble. You know, those balloon toy things that you stand up straight no matter how many times you push it.

Harley
Ooo! I want one.

Ivy
You can’t have one.

Harley
Why not?

Ivy
What made you start singing?

Harley
I told ya already.

Ivy
No, you didn’t.

Harley
Oh yeah. I socked a guy in tha mouth with a baseball bat.

Ivy
Uh… huh.

Harley
Don’t worry, he deserved it.

Ivy
I’m not worried about that, most men deserve it.

Harley
He called me a bimbo!

Ivy
People still use that word?

Harley
Actually, he used another b-word, but my delicate female sensibilities can’t ever repeat such a word.

Ivy
Was there anyone around who saw?

Harley
Piles!

Ivy
Damnit, Harley, I don’t wanna have to move again because yet ANOTHER city wants us dead.

Harley
We don’t haveta worry about that. They were piling on tha guy.

Ivy
Why would they do that?

Harley
It’s what happens when you use that b-thing at a feminist convention.

Ivy
YOU were at a feminist convention?

Harley
I had to use tha bathroom, an’ they had free entry. More conventions need ta be free. There was one in San Diego I went to that charged SO–

Ivy
Why would a guy call a woman a bi–

Harley
B-word!

Ivy
–at a feminist convention?

Harley
He was with some other folk across tha street protestin’.

Ivy
Why would a group of guys–

Harley
And broads.

Ivy
What?!

Harley
Stockholm Syndrome’s a crazy thing, Red.

Ivy
Why would they protest so close to something that empowers women?

Harley
The mob descended too quickly fer me ta ask. I couldn’t hear over tha screams, anyway.

Ivy
Were they bloodcurdling?

Harley
Worthy of a Gothic novel.

Ivy
That’s what I like to hear.

Harley
I even recorded it!

Ivy
I’ll probably regret asking but, why?

Harley
For my new band.

Ivy
We’re wanted criminals, remember?

Harley
That’s why it’ll be an electronic band, silly. Just me an’ a computer an’ some mad beats, yo!

Ivy
Please don’t ever say that again.

Harley
Yess’m. I also managed ta snag one a’ their flyers.

Ivy
Oh?

Harley
Part a’ it’s torn off an’ half a’ it’s covered in blood and shame, but ya can get the gist a’ it.

Ivy
“The Brotherhood of Brotherhood?”

Harley
I didn’t say they were tha most creative hatemongers.

Ivy
“…liberate the rights of men back from the lessers…”

Harley
Hey, yer skin’s startin’ ta change color.

Ivy
“…back on their backs with a smile…”

Harley
Yer skin matches yer hair now, Red! Uh oh…

Ivy
“…where they belong…” Where is this convention?

Harley
Uh… What convention?

Ivy
The one with the soon-to-be-ripped-to-pieces-by-my-hands idiots out in front.

Harley
Ya don’t have ta worry about them. They’re all hospitalized.

Ivy
Where’s the hospital?

Harley
We’re wanted criminals, remember?

Ivy
We’ll be a little more wanted, then. Or a lot more. Depends on if I leave one breathing.

Harley
But there’s more than one way ta get revenge.

Ivy
None are more satisfying.

Harley
Ya really wanna go back ta tha clink fer those dummies, Red?

Ivy
…no.

Harley
Calm down an’ talk ta me fer a while, then.

Ivy
How do I get revenge that doesn’t involve me getting shipped back to Arkham?

Harley
By bein’ yerself, silly.

Ivy
Huh?

Harley
Tha Brotherhood a’ Brotherhood–

Ivy
Such a stupid name…

Harley
–stands for everythin’ yer not. Right?

Ivy
Yeah.

Harley
So, what better way ta get revenge than tha keep bein’ you?

Ivy
I’m also a murderer, in case you forgot.

Harley
But yer not only a murderer, are ya?

Ivy
No… I guess.

Harley
What else are ya?

Ivy
A woman who won’t let anyone think that they can control or take advantage of me.

Harley
Yup!

Ivy
A woman who lives her life at her standards and no one else’s.

Harley
Yup yup!

Ivy
A woman who loves herself and won’t let anyone stop her from doing that.

Harley
Yup yup yup!

Ivy
Thanks, Harley.

Harley
No problemo.

Ivy
What was the name of that feminist convention?

Harley
Uh… Tha Sisterhood a’ Sisterhood.

Ivy
You’re kidding.

Harley
Nope. I got one a’ those flyers, too.

Ivy
Ugh. I need a drink.

Daily Dialogue: The Folly of Superstition

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Gloria
What do you want from life?

Ramona
The same thing everyone wants, I guess. Happiness and a quick death.

Gloria
What do you want from life?

Ramona
You just asked me that.

Gloria
I know, and I don’t believe you.

Ramona
What’s not to believe?

Gloria
Happiness can be anything. Does rape make you happy?

Ramona
Of course not.

Gloria
It makes some people happy.

Ramona
Well, they’re fucked-up and not me.

Gloria
What makes you happy, then?

Ramona
I don’t feel comfortable saying.

Gloria
Why?

Ramona
Because…

Gloria
Are you superstitious?

Ramona
What’s that have to do with anything?

Gloria
Are you afraid to say what makes you happy because you’re afraid that it might be taken away from you?

Ramona
Who isn’t?

Gloria
A child. For some reason, the older someone gets, the more superstitious they become. Kids joke around with stepping on cracks to break their mothers’ backs. Adults make sure to avoid cracks. And adults are supposed to be the smart ones.

Ramona
It’s easy to understand, though.

Gloria
No, it’s not. Being afraid of fire is easy to understand. Being afraid of the number 13 isn’t.

Ramona
But it’s unlucky all over the world.

Gloria
How do you feel about the number 88?

Ramona
I don’t feel anything towards it.

Gloria
In Japan, it’s the unluckiest number in the world.

Ramona
Why?

Gloria
It doesn’t matter. What does is that knowing that superstitions are pointless. How can you want happiness, yet be afraid to admit what makes you happy?

Ramona
Because it might get taken aw–

Gloria
How? How is it gonna be taken away? The faeries hiding in the wood that you knock on?

Ramona
What?

Gloria
Knock on wood. That’s about faeries who wait for any opportunity to mess up your life. Knocking on wood keeps them tucked away.

Ramona
Oh. That’s stupid.

Gloria
So is staying mum about your happiness. Are you ashamed of it?

Ramona
No! No one should be ashamed of what makes them happy, short of pedophiles and the like.

Gloria
Then say it.

Ramona
But… But it might–

Gloria
If you fucking say that it won’t happen, I’m gonna beat you with my shoe. Can’t you see how irrational you’re being?

Ramona
It’s not irrational.

Gloria
Yes, it is! You’re practically afraid of your shadow!

Ramona
I’m not nearly that bad.

Gloria
Then tell me one thing. One thing that’ll make you happy.

Ramona
I… I…

Gloria
One thing, Ramona. It won’t go away just because you say its name.

Ramona
…getting who I always wanted.

Gloria
Who is he? Or she?

Ramona
She–

Gloria
Isn’t me, is she?

Ramona
No, she’s an abstract. And you’re not my type.

Gloria
Good. Wait. Did you just come out to me?

Ramona
I… Wow.

Gloria
Tell me about your abstraction.

Ramona
I always liked the idea of ensnaring a woman who keeps weaving in and out of my life.

Gloria
Why, why not just take her the first time you see her?

Ramona
I like the game of it. We see each other once, for a little while, and drifting apart. Growing as people during the gaps. Coming back, finding out a little more about each other, until…

Gloria
Until what?

Ramona
Until we’re perfect for each other.

Gloria
No one’s perfect.

Ramona
I didn’t say that I wanted a perfect woman. I said that she’s perfect for me.

Gloria
What’s the difference?

Ramona
Perfection isn’t an absolute. It changes from person to person, country to country, generation to generation. Being perfect for me means that I can see past her flaws because she fits me so well.

Gloria
Those are pretty hard to find, no matter what.

Ramona
Only the best for me. Even if it takes a while.

Gloria
So, the woman who’s perfect for you would make you happy. Is she everything?

Ramona
No. I’m not so blinded by the potential of love to think that having it is the only thing one needs in life.

Gloria
What else is there, then?

Ramona
Satisfaction. Or gratitude. I can’t decide.

Gloria
Satisfaction comes from within. Gratitude comes from outside.

Ramona
Satisfaction, then. I don’t want my happiness to be dependent on more than my abstraction.

Gloria
Satisfaction with what?

Ramona
Life. Knowing that I’m living my life how I want with as little compromise as possible, with as much comfort as possible.

Gloria
Not many people get that.

Ramona
You underestimate my ambition.

Gloria
Fair enough. Your abstraction and satisfaction. Anything else?

Ramona
I think so. Everything else can fall under those umbrellas.

Gloria
What do you want from life?

Ramona
My abstraction, satisfaction, and a quick death.

Gloria
Do you hear that?

Ramona
What?

Gloria
That’s the sound of the world not ending after you admitted your happy things.

Ramona
Heh, I guess so.

Gloria
How do you feel about getting it out?

Ramona
Feels good.

Gloria
And how do you feel about coming out?

Ramona
Heh, feels good. But let’s not make a big thing out of it. It’s not like I cured cancer or anything.

Gloria
You’re uncomfortable with coming out?

Ramona
I’m uncomfortable with the fact that coming out is still something to be celebrated. There shouldn’t be… an out process. It should be accepted just like any other thing. Or perhaps that’s just my modesty talking.

Gloria
Says the woman who wants only the best for her. Is your abstraction really an abstraction, or does she have a name?

Ramona
I’d rather make one up.

Gloria
Why, because you’re superstitious?

Ramona
No, because you’ll give me an unbelievable amount of shit about her if I don’t.

Gloria
Heh, ok. Well, make up a name for her.

Ramona
Famicon.

Gloria
Thanks for making things difficult for me…

Ramona
Hey, I’d rather not spend the night washing off shit.

Gloria
Famicon, eh?

Ramona
You’re not gonna guess her.

Gloria
No, I’m not. But I’ll give it the ol’ college try.

Daily Dialogue: XX/XY Pangs

Posted in Drawing, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Hanna
I didn’t go to my father’s wedding. I think that’s what I regret the most.

Emma
You were angry. A lot of people were.

Hanna
I can’t know if I had a right to be, though. It’s… Who sits around and thinks that something like that could happen to them?

Emma
No one, but isn’t that what life’s about? Not knowing?

Hanna
Yeah, but… Couldn’t he have known before he married my mother, before he got her pregnant, that he was gay and didn’t ever feel like a man? Why’d he put us through all that shit, why is he putting us through all this shit, if that’s the life he wanted?

Emma
Do you hate him?

Hanna
I don’t know.

Emma
Why?

Hanna
Because I don’t know whether he’s my father or my mother now. Do you?

Emma
He– She’s your mother.

Hanna
But my mother gave birth to me. My mother was the damaged one when The Big Lies came out. My mother…

Emma
Your mother was your father once, but she isn’t anymore. Having two mothers can be great, right? What name did she choose?

Hanna
Beatrice.

Emma
Beatrice can be good to you, as good to you as a mother as she was when she was your father.

Hanna
Beatrice is a jealous bitch.

Emma
Why do you think she’s jealous?

Hanna
Because, try as hard as she can, she can’t do what my real mother or myself can.

Emma
What?

Hanna
Have a baby.

Emma
Has she ever shown her jealousy?

Hanna
No, but I’ve known my father long enough to see– FUCK! Can’t you see how aggravating this is for me?

Emma
You hate Beatrice?

Hanna
…yes.

Emma
Then why do you regret not going to her wedding?

Hanna
Part of me wanted to see her in a gown.

Emma
Was there a part of you that wanted something else?

Hanna
…yes.

Emma
What did it want?

Hanna
To burn the gown off of her.

Emma
Which part is bigger?

Hanna
The one inside me.

Emma
When was the last time you saw Beatrice?

Hanna
When I saw her or when she saw me?

Emma
Both.

Hanna
Months before the wedding, last week in a bathroom.

Emma
Which is which?

Hanna
She saw me months ago.

Emma
Which bathroom did you see her in?

Hanna
At the movies, when we saw the last Terminator.

Emma
Is that why you got weird for the rest of the night?

Hanna
Yeah.

Emma
How do you know she didn’t see you?

Hanna
Because I would’ve been covered in ashes when you saw me comes out of the bathroom.

Emma
When was the last time you saw your… um…

Hanna
I talked to my real mother last night.

Emma
How’s she coping?

Hanna
She stopping pulling strands of hair out, finally. I don’t ever wanna get married.

Emma
Why?

Hanna
I don’t wanna be as dedicated to someone as my mother was to my father. That can hurt you in ways you can’t ever cope with. I know, I see it every time I visit my mother.

Emma
But love can do so many great things.

Hanna
I’m not arguing love, I’m arguing dedication.

Emma
Then you think people should be polyamorous?

Hanna
If they want, but that’s not my point.

Emma
What is?

Hanna
That people can love whomever and however they choose, but don’t dedicate your life to them.

Emma
What if they spend their life with the one, or ones, they love?

Hanna
If they happen to do so, great. But it shouldn’t be a requirement. I’ve seen what happens when people are obligated to be together forever. Some can do it, more can’t than the world would like to believe.

Emma
People like who?

Hanna
The ones who get beaten or cheated on but stick around because of two rings and a sheet of paper.

Emma
People get beaten and cheated without marriage.

Hanna
Yeah, but you can’t say that a lot of marriages don’t have those things in them.

Emma
Do you think Beatrice will have those things happen to her?

Hanna
Dunno. I can’t wrap my mind around her wife wanting sex from her.

Emma
Why not?

Hanna
She didn’t fully commit.

Emma
What do you mean?

Hanna
She still has a cock.

Emma
How do you know?

Hanna
When you live with someone who’s transitioning, they tell you everything like an excited child.

Emma
Did she say why she kept it?

Hanna
I asked a few times, but she, heh, skirted around the issue.

Emma
At least they’re in love?

Hanna
And utterly dedicated to each other. The queen is dead, long live the queen.

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