Daily Dialogue: My Nightingale, Last Part

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

And now, fulfilling a promise I made to myself at the start of this. Thanks for joining the ride.

Alessandra
It’s ok. It’s all ok. I’m here for you now.

Imogen
What do you mean?

Alessandra
Isn’t it obvious? How you opened up to me, how I opened up to you, how you decided to stay, how you entered my life? We’re meant to be together.

Imogen
You have the wrong idea.

Alessandra
I have the only right idea I’ve ever had in my life. Look at you. You’re perfect. And you opened up to me.

Imogen
Yeah, because…

Alessandra
Why?

Imogen
If I tell you, you’ll just take it the wrong way.

Alessandra
Take what the wrong way, my love?

Imogen
I thought we had a bonding thing going on. And I’m not your love.

Alessandra
How could I take that the wrong way?

Imogen
I can see it in your eyes. You think I meant as lovers. I meant as friends.

Alessandra
The best kind of love starts out as friendship.

Imogen
And the worst kind. There are some friends who try to cross the line and end up burning the bridge. I don’t wanna do that to us.

Alessandra
You’re so sweet. Don’t worry, the universe has plans for us. I can tell.

Imogen
Plans as friends. Why don’t you wait for my leg to heal? I can’t fall in love with a bum leg. Plus, I’ve never seen your house.

Alessandra
I can carry you around.

Imogen
And risk hurting me? Do you have stairs? And lots of corners? Think of what’d happen if I hit those corners. Or if you dropped me.

Alessandra
Is that what you think of me? That I’d be so careless, I’d hurt the love of my life?

Imogen
I’m not your love.

Alessandra
How can you say that?

Imogen
How can YOU say that? You don’t know anything about me, and I know even less about you.

Alessandra
I know that you have a champagne-colored birthmark high on your inner thigh.

Imogen
So does anyone who sees me in a bathing suit. And you’re forgetting the most important thing.

Alessandra
What?

Imogen
I don’t like women.

Alessandra
Love is the great transcender.

Imogen
Not for me, it’s not.

Alessandra
It could be.

Imogen
No. I’ve never been attracted to women and I’m not “a little gay,” as people say everyone is.

Alessandra
I’ll keep you here until you love me, then.

Imogen
Why?! What makes me so fucking special?!

Alessandra
You’re here.

Imogen
Look. I thought that I could play it safe if I tried being your friend. It’s clear to me that you’re lonely and your head isn’t completely together, so me kicking and screaming would only make things a lot worse. But you’re being utterly irrational, beyond the point I’m willing to deal with as a human being. So, I’ll have to match you.

Alessandra
We’re a match now? I told you that you’d love me.

Imogen
I don’t think you love me, though.

Alessandra
If you’d look into my heart, you’d see that I’m being truthful.

Imogen
But I can’t, can I? All I have to go by are your words. Words are meaningless, especially sentences.

Alessandra
What do you want me to do, then?

Imogen
See? You don’t love me.

Alessandra
Stop saying that! I do! I do I do! What do I have to do for you?!

Imogen
A true love would know.

Alessandra
I– I… You’re right. A true love would know.

Imogen
Did you see the car crash happen?

Alessandra
No, I only heard it.

Imogen
So you couldn’t know that I meant to crash. Because I wanted to die.

Alessandra
Why could you wanna die? You have everything going for you.

Imogen
Do I?

Alessandra
Wait… No. Your family’s fucked-up. Oh, I’m sorry for using that word.

Imogen
It’s fine. And you’re right.

Alessandra
Then that means… you’re still suicidal. You want me to kill you.

Imogen
Yes.

Alessandra
Ask me anything but that. I can’t have you leave my life after entering it so soon. I could never be so cruel.

Imogen
You could join me.

Alessandra
What do you mean?

Imogen
You can kill yourself with me. Until life do we part.

Alessandra
A… death marriage?

Imogen
No better proof of love than dying for the other, right?

Alessandra
Y-yeah.

Imogen
Is there a problem?

Alessandra
I don’t wanna die.

Imogen
But I do. And you said that you wanted to prove your love to me.

Alessandra
Yeah, but–

Imogen
Can you think of a better way than dedicating your death to me? Me dedicating mine to you?

Alessandra
No…

Imogen
But I’ll have to know you’re serious, so you’ll have to go first. I don’t want you to look at my corpse and choose to mourn me instead.

Alessandra
I’m a nurse, though. My life is corpses.

Imogen
If you don’t love me…

Alessandra
I’ll go first. How do we do it?

Imogen
Blades. You’ll cut your wrists, then I’ll cut mine.

Alessandra
With the same blade?

Imogen
Of course. Oh. One more thing. How’s my car?

Alessandra
The driver side’s caved in, but it still works. It’s sitting in my garage. Why?

Imogen
It just flashed in my mind. Final thoughts, I suppose. Well. Go get the knife.

Daily Dialogue: My Nightingale, Part IV

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

The beginning of Imogen’s misery. And the end. And now it’s dark…

Imogen
I was out one day. Shopping at… I can’t remember. I didn’t remember my wallet, either, and that didn’t occur to me until midway in line to the register. I found some really cute pants, too. Black with white cuffs, and zip-up pockets. I don’t know why they bother giving women’s pants pockets when nothing we own can fit in them. I asked the clerk to hold them for me until the end of the day. I lived about an hour away, but I didn’t wanna commit to a specific time. Didn’t matter, because I never made it back. When I got home, I saw my brother’s car in the driveway. In my spot. Always in my fucking spot. Ugh, I shouldn’t have used that word.
I ran inside to my room to get my wallet. On the way there, you have to pass my brother’s room. As I got closer, I could hear what was going on, but they couldn’t hear me. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help it. They were SO loud. And his door was open. He didn’t expect anyone home so he felt free to let it all out. So did… So did my mother. I didn’t want my stomping to distract him so I tip-toed by, and got a slow reveal of her on top of him. What do you do when you see something like that? There’s nothing in school or normalcy that could prepare ANYONE to process that. The only thing I could do, and I still have no clue why I did it, was laugh. A lot. As loud as my mother moaned. It took them a while to notice me, but I was on the floor in tears by then. My brother got to me first and I looked at him, laughing… almost barking. Then I saw my mother. She looked at me with so much anger. But there was something else in her gaze.
It was hard to figure out with the watery eyes, but I quickly figured it out. When you literally grow up with someone, you develop a DEEP nonverbal vocabulary with them. You can recognize every single one of their gestures and glances, and any combination of them. So I knew what that other look was. And I stopped laughing. And I started crying. Because her gaze told me that she’s done that to me, too. But how? I wouldn’t have blocked something like that out. Then it hit me, and a lot of mysteries in my life suddenly made sense. Once in a while, I’d wake up with sore legs and… crotch. And I’d be wet. I was always too embarrassed to ask anyone what’s wrong with me because women in this country are shamed outta knowing about their bodies. A lot of women are even too embarrassed to know what their vagina looks like. I was. Am. So I didn’t ask. I knew that people sleepwalked and that some women hump pillows, so I thought that I did both of those. Until that moment my mother looked at me. I asked my brother if he knew. He didn’t know what I meant, or pretended to know. I asked him again and again and again and again… my voice was already hoarse from the laughing and crying. Then my mother made things clear for him. Then he nodded.
I asked them if my father knew. My brother’s face went white, so he hoped he didn’t. My mother explained to me, so coldly, she sounded so cold during all of this. And a little outta breath because of… She said that my father was too busy cheating on her with his job to notice anything that went on here. She said that one time she even f– had sex with him with my brother’s stuff still inside her. I asked if she was worried about getting pregnant and she said that I ruined all chance of that happening again. That when I was born, I took some important pieces with her. That, in a way, I helped make it so that she and my brother could be together. I kept trying to rationalize everything while trying not to go into shock, which is probably why me asking why she didn’t find someone in a bar to cheat with made sense to me. That’s when she walked to me, knelt down, and pushed my brother out the way. Then she held my head like she did the way I always remember. My forehead on her chest, a hand atop my head, and fingers on my neck. Even then, it felt good. And she whispered… she whispered…
“My children are so beautiful. How could I not want to be with them?”

Daily Dialogue: My Nightingale, Part III

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

From whence it began. Looks like the gals are starting to get along. Well, I HAVE to do something about that… And the next step

Imogen
An ulcer? How’d you get one of those?

Alessandra
They tend to come from stress.

Imogen
Not everyone’s a layman. I had an aunt who bled to death from an ulcer one night. Her husband thought she was being a drama queen about stomach aches or period cramps or whatever. Just another reason why marriage is a sham.

Alessandra
Wives aren’t that sympathetic, either.

Imogen
You’re not helping marriages out, you know.

Alessandra
I didn’t say I wanted to. I’m just saying that wives are as bad as husbands.

Imogen
What, you’re married?

Alessandra
Was.

Imogen
You WERE married? So, wait, you’re gay and have seen me nude? TOUCHED me nude?

Alessandra
I don’t get off on unconscious women.

Imogen
Not even when they’re Sarah Mitchell?

Alessandra
Not even when they’re her.

Imogen
I thought this town was a desert for people.

Alessandra
It is.

Imogen
And women with sapphic tendencies don’t exactly brag about it in small towns.

Alessandra
“Sapphic tendencies?”

Imogen
Gay women are called lesbians because of the myth of Sappho. Essentially, the world’s greatest dyke. I can say dyke, right?

Alessandra
You get two uses before I get offended, and you used them up.

Imogen
Oh. Well, anyway, you’d think that gay women would’ve wanted to name themselves after a goddess. But noooo. They name themselves after the island where Sappho did her deeds.

Alessandra
There’s and island called Lesbian?

Imogen
Lesbos. The island inhabitants are called Lesbians, and they’re not happy about sharing the name with Sappho’s followers.

Alessandra
That place must be amazing.

Imogen
Not really. But what’re you gonna do? At least places like Salem, Massachusetts and Hell, Michigan accept their plight.

Alessandra
There’s a Hell in America?

Imogen
Fox News had to get something right. So, back to your wife. How’d you meet her? Internet?

Alessandra
Not quite.

Imogen
What do you mean?

Alessandra
I found her online and we sent each other letters.

Imogen
With stamps? Why?

Alessandra
Her village didn’t have the best internet.

Imogen
Village? Where was she from?

Alessandra
Somewhere between Romania and Ukraine.

Imogen
Sounds like mail-order bride country.

Alessandra
Yeah…

Imogen
You had a mail-order bride? What was her name?

Alessandra
Lina.

Imogen
How long did you two… write before you got married?

Alessandra
Almost two years.

Imogen
Why so long? I thought you could snatch them up immediately.

Alessandra
I thought that people only got married once, so I wanted to make sure I got it right.

Imogen
When did you see her? After two years?

Alessandra
I never saw her.

Imogen
Why?

Alessandra
She… She… That bitch had the nerve to die on the plane coming here.

Imogen
I don’t think it was her fault that she died.

Alessandra
It was! She said that she was happy to finally be able to see me and was gonna make me happy until the day I die. Me. Not her. And she died before I even got to touch her.

Imogen
How did it happen? Terrorists?

Alessandra
Apparently, some people’s brains have a hard time adjusting to altitudes or whatever. She’s one of them, and she’s dead. Selfish bitch.

Imogen
None of that was her fault, Alessandra. And I’m sure she wouldn’t want to carry her on forever in your mind with so much hate because of a thing she had no control whatsoever over.

Alessandra
The dead can’t want anything, ok?

Imogen
Is that where your ulcer came from?

Alessandra
Ya think? What was your fight about?

Imogen
I think I should get some rest. Yeah, I should sleep.

Alessandra
Don’t pull that with me. I told you something, now you tell me something.

Imogen
I think we should leave it for now.

Alessandra
Do you want me to hit your leg?

Imogen
What?

Alessandra
Tell me why you got into the fight that made you leave or I’ll hit your fucking leg.

Imogen
I think you need some pot

Alessandra
Tell me or I’ll smash your fucking leg!

Imogen
But… You’re a nurse.

Alessandra
That’s right, I am. Which means I know how to heal, and I know how to hurt. I can break a bone so cleanly that although it’ll be AGONY for you, it’ll settle and set nicely. Unless I don’t want it to. Unless I get the idea to… wiggle it. Once in a while. Maybe every hour. Just enough so that all your body’s hard work to make you better is wasted. Do you wanna know how long I can make a broken leg take to heal?

Daily Dialogue: My Nightingale, Part II

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Here’s the link to Part I, if you missed it. Continuing a little challenge I gave myself yesterday: to write a serialized story over the course of a few days without knowing how or when it’ll end. Except with unlikable characters. Here’s Part III, too.

Alessandra
Why were you traveling?

Imogen
Why do I have to talk to you?

Alessandra
You don’t. You could scream for help. I’ll scream, too. I’ve done it for years and no one’s come to save me. But there’s a trick about you.

Imogen
I’m a puzzle? A joke?

Alessandra
You woke up in a strange place after a car accident, but you’re not acting close to anyone who would’ve been in your situation.

Imogen
What, you take in injured all the time?

Alessandra
No, but I know people. Hurt people. They fall into certain… patterns. None of which you’ve fallen into. You’ve danced around some, like wanting a phone call, but it seems like you just wanna go through the motions of what’s expected. If I may be so bold, Imogen, I don’t think you wanna leave. Not that you wanna stay HERE, because no one does. But you definitely don’t wanna go.

Imogen
I see.

Alessandra
Am I right?

Imogen
Maybe.

Alessandra
Oh, c’mon, that was worthy of some detective doctorate. Do detectives have doctorates? I’ll have to check that.

Imogen
Fine, you’re right.

Alessandra
Yay!

Imogen
Happy now?

Alessandra
No one’s truly happy. Happiness is just a delusion that falls on you twixt the bad times.

Imogen
Where’d the poetry come from?

Alessandra
It comes and goes. To stave off the boredom here, you have to be prepared for full introspection, or full-retard.

Imogen
That’s not very PC.

Alessandra
I’m at home, I can say what I want. If you don’t like it, feel free to call and report me.

Imogen
Ha. Ha.

Alessandra
Yeah, you’re right, it’s not nice to pick on the cripple.

Imogen
I don’t have to put up with this.

Alessandra
Ok, I’m sorry. Well?

Imogen
“Well?”

Alessandra
Why were you running?

Imogen
Who said I was running?

Alessandra
Why were you… traveling?

Imogen
Issues.

Alessandra
Like comics?

Imogen
No, not like comics.

Alessandra
Magazines?

Imogen
Lay off the periodicals. I meant issues as in–

Alessandra
I know what you meant. I’m just trying to lighten you up, get you loosey-goosey. Do you want some booze? Or pot?

Imogen
One of those is illegal.

Alessandra
Not if it’s medicinal.

Imogen
You’re a nurse who steals from her job?

Alessandra
I’m a nurse who picks up her prescription from her job.

Imogen
It’s not for, uh, recreation? With Bob Marley and a track of blacklights?

Alessandra
Not everyone who smokes does it for goofy shit. I fucking hate stoners. People like them make it hard for people who NEED pot to be taken seriously.

Imogen
I’m sorry. So, why do you smoke?

Alessandra
Quid pro quo, Clarice.

Imogen
I see. Well… I started traveling a few weeks ago. Family trouble.

Alessandra
The best reason for road trips.

Imogen
I guess. There was a fight, and I left to find myself.

Alessandra
You didn’t go to somewhere like Bali like the other spoiled girls?

Imogen
What makes you think I’m spoiled?

Alessandra
Imogen isn’t the most normal name.

Imogen
And Alessandra’s a name that suddenly springs to mind?

Alessandra
Your wreck used to be a Mercedes. You don’t look old enough to have earned a Mercedes. Which also helped make me think you were Sarah Mitchell.

Imogen
Fair enough. I wasn’t spoiled, though.

Alessandra
Yeah. Sure.

Imogen
I wasn’t fucking spoiled, ok?! Yes, ok, my parents were rich, but that doesn’t mean that they showered me with affection.

Alessandra
So you left because you were unloved?

Imogen
Am I a fucking cripple of a cliché over here? No, of course not.

Alessandra
What was the fight about, then?

Imogen
Quid pro pro, Clarice. Wait, shit, I fucked that up.

Alessandra
Heh, yeah, you did.

Imogen
You know what I mean.

Alessandra
No, I don’t. Latin’s a hard language, like either Chinese one.

Imogen
There are two Chinese?

Alessandra
Mandarin and Cantonese.

Imogen
That’s mean. And rude.

Alessandra
Mispronouncing a single syllable can ruin the entire sentence. So, get it right.

Imogen
Quid… Quid… Quid… Quid quo pro! Quid quo pro!

Alessandra
There ya go. Ulcer.

Daily Dialogue: My Nightingale, Part I

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 24, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

After being down with the sickness for two days, I’m ready to take on a new challenge. I feel that one of my strengths as a storyteller reveals itself in long stories. The writing exercises weren’t meant for that, so I can’t blame them for not showing that off. They’re meant for me to get used to writing often, thinking quicker, and accidentally making me a better writer. But that doesn’t mean that the writing exercises can’t be used to tell a long story. Usually, I have a detailed plan of everything before I write something lengthy, but this is the time of challenges. So, I’m gonna write a serialized story without knowing how it’ll end or how many days it’ll take to finish. I just know that neither woman will be likable, in the end. Here’s Part II.

Imogen
Wh… Where am I?

Alessandra
You’re awake! Oh, finally.

Imogen
Who are you?

Alessandra
You were– Alessandra. I gotta say, Imogen, you–

Imogen
How do you know my name?

Alessandra
Your ID. In your purse. Wow, you don’t remember anything, do you? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Imogen
What’re you talking… What– Ow.

Alessandra
Don’t move, don’t move. You racked your brain pretty hard in that crash. You also have a broken leg and some other minor problems, but it could’ve been a lot worse. And youda felt like even more crap if I wasn’t around.

Imogen
Car crash? Yesterday?

Alessandra
Heh, no, not yesterday. You’ve been out for almost a week.

Imogen
A week?! Ow.

Alessandra
I told you, keep still.

Imogen
Why aren’t I in a hospital right now?

Alessandra
It’s ok, I’m a nurse.

Imogen
Don’t nurses work in hospitals?

Alessandra
Yeah… And I do, but I thought it’d be better for you to be here. Ma’am.

Imogen
“Ma’am?”

Alessandra
I’m a big fan of your movies and–

Imogen
Movies? Wait, wait… You think I’m… Oh, fuck. I get that all the time.

Alessandra
You mean you’re not Sarah Mitchell?

Imogen
You saw my ID, didn’t you?

Alessandra
Yeah, but I thought Sarah could’ve been your professional name.

Imogen
No… She has hazel eyes. Mine are dark brown.

Alessandra
Oh. Oh yeah, you’re right. Well, that’s fine. I get to be helpful anyway.

Imogen
Can you get me to a hospital now?

Alessandra
You’re not gonna get better any faster there than here, trust me. And here, you have the comforts of home. ‘Cause it’s a home! Heh, get it?

Imogen
Uh… Sure.

Alessandra
And who cares that you’re not Sarah Mitchell? The fact that you look like her is good enough for me.

Imogen
Good enough? What’re you talking about?

Alessandra
Do you live around here?

Imogen
No, I was passing through.

Alessandra
Does the town look like a place you’d wanna stay in? You can be honest.

Imogen
No, not really.

Alessandra
Imagine, Imogen, what it’s like for people who have to stay. The closest neighbor being nine abandoned houses in any direction. The country pretty much gave up on us and is just waiting for us to either die, move, or whatever. Then came you, Sarah. I mean, Imogen. I can’t believe how much you two look alike. Are you and she related?

Imogen
No. Now, let me go.

Alessandra
I told you, you REALLY don’t wanna go to the hospital here.

Imogen
Then take me to another one.

Alessandra
Where? You drove around, did you see any hospitals nearby?

Imogen
…no.

Alessandra
What?

Imogen
No, I didn’t, ok? Can I at least call someone?

Alessandra
No phone, and yours got smashed.

Imogen
How can you not have a phone?

Alessandra
Who would I call?

Imogen
Friends? Family?

Alessandra
Nine houses, remember? And no one’s worth making the effort for. As for family… I’m all alone.

Imogen
How responsible is it for a nurse to not have a phone? Aren’t you all supposed to be on-call or something?

Alessandra
That’s what the beeper’s for.

Imogen
They still make beepers?

Alessandra
At least one more.

Imogen
I have people who’ll worry about me. I need to get in contact with them.

Alessandra
Or what?

Imogen
What?

Alessandra
It’s very dangerous to move you, and I wanna know if they’re important enough for you to risk injury. Are they worth dying for?

Imogen
No one’s fucking worth dying for.

Alessandra
Almost no one. Then why is important that you call them? Were you running from them?

Imogen
What?

Alessandra
It’s ok, you can tell me. As a nurse, I have to know as much about my patient as possible so I know how to properly handle them. Some need sugar, and some need lemons. Which are you?

Imogen
Annoyed. Look, I appreciate you taking care of me, but you can’t keep me here.

Alessandra
Then get up. I’ll even open the door. If you can make it outside, I’ll take you to where I make phone calls.

Imogen
I have a broken leg.

Alessandra
And? The phone call’s important, right? Re-breaking a leg is just a drop in the bucket.

Imogen
I’ll… stay.

Alessandra
Good Imogen.

Imogen
But don’t treat me like your fucking pet.

Alessandra
I already feed and clean you, though.

Imogen
Clean me? You’ve seen me nude?

Alessandra
I’ve seen a lot of my patients nude. They weren’t always as enjoyable to look at, though.

Imogen
What?

Alessandra
I thought you were Sarah Mitchell at the time. Sorry!

Imogen
It’s never ok to drool over an unconscious woman, ok? I shouldn’t even have to SAY that.

Daily Dialogue: Mirror-Damage

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

Two imaginary women speak through my keyboard 40 minutes a day and surprise me with what they have to say.

Alice
Where were you?

Dora
Out.

Alice
The same “out” you’ve been at for the last few months?

Dora
What’re you talking about? Why are you smelling me?

Alice
I didn’t think you started smoking.

Dora
I haven’t.

Alice
Oh? Then why do you smell like an ashtray?

Dora
Other people can smoke.

Alice
And where were these other people?

Dora
Can we talk about something else? I just got home and I wanna relax.

Alice
But I’m your wife. We can talk about everything, even while you relax. So where were you?

Dora
I was out, ok? Just… out.

Alice
Of the closet? Yeah. Of your mind if you think I’m gonna leave this alone? Oh, hell yeah.

Dora
What?

Alice
Three months. For three months, you’ve been spending more time “out” than in. You don’t tell me where you go. You’re always tired when you got back. You don’t touch me anymore.

Dora
Is that it? You wanna have sex?

Alice
No. Besides, you do enough fucking for the both of us.

Dora
What?

Alice
I followed you around last week.

Dora
You spied on me?

Alice
I followed you. And I saw the places that you went to. And the women who go in them.

Dora
You spied on me?

Alice
Is that all you have to say? Fine, I admit it. I spied. I fucking spied on my cheating wife.

Dora
Cheating?! Why the fuck do you think I’m cheating?

Alice
Cigarettes aren’t the only thing I smell on you. These must be some high-class broads, because what’s left of their perfume on you isn’t cheap.

Dora
You spy and you lie…

Alice
Lie? I’m the liar? I saw them, Dora. I went inside the building and saw what goes on. Have our years together made me so useless that you have to go to a sex den do get your kicks?

Dora
No, but–

Alice
Then it’s you! Oh, so it must be that you’re the sleeze who needs a bunch of women to make them happy. I’ve been through this already, Dora. I went through my ex-wife cheating on me and told myself that I’d never stick around if it happened again.

Dora
I work there, ok?

Alice
That’s supposed to make me feel better? That you cheat and get paid for it?

Dora
I’m not fucking cheating on you!

Alice
You are fucking and you are cheating, so fuck you!

Dora
Shut up and let me explain!

Alice
What’s there to explain? You can’t touch me because you’re too used-up from all those bitches at the club? That I’m not good enough for you? That I’m old?

Dora
I don’t have sex with anyone at that place. I sit in a glass booth while women watch me touch myself.

Alice
What kind of sick fuck are you to need to do that?

Dora
The kind of sick fuck who couldn’t find a better second job or else we’d lose the house.

Alice
…what?

Dora
You don’t read the news, so you wouldn’t know. Mortgage and utilities across the country went up three months ago. My job was already cutting shifts. I couldn’t ask my boss for more hours. You can’t work. So I searched for another job. The only one that offered enough money and could work around my job was at the sex den. I told them that I didn’t wanna have any kind of sex with anyone, so they put me in a booth. The other girls smoke, and they have to wear perfume because they have full-contact positions.

Alice
I… I’m sorry.

Dora
Not nearly as sorry as I am for you. Why didn’t you ask me?

Alice
I did.

Dora
As a woman who wanted to find a cheater. Not as my wife.

Alice
I’m sorry. But my ex–

Dora
I’m not her, am I?

Alice
No.

Dora
Because you treat me like I am. I have NEVER given you a reason to think I’d cheat on you. If you were suspicious, you should’ve asked me instead of feeding that shadow in your mind and doing things like spying on me.

Alice
I know, I fucked up. I’m so sorry, Dora.

Dora
We’re through.

Alice
What?

Dora
We. Are. Through. If you thought that I’m cheating once, you’ll think it again, and I’m not living that life. Do you have any idea what it’s like to work in a place like that and not wanna be there? Do you know how some of the girls and I get treated by customers? How low those women try to make us feel even though they have no problem whatsoever with using us? To put up with that for months to make sure that we’re not living under a fucking bridge or a hostel? And to know I’m going through all that for a woman who thinks I’m cheating on her, who doesn’t have enough respect for me to simply ask what I’ve been up to? Fuck that, and fuck you. I’m gone.

Alice
No! Please don’t go!

Dora
You only get one chance with me.

Alice
We’ve been together for five years!

Dora
Exactly. Five years of nothing but affection and devotion from me, and you still thought that I had it in me to be unfaithful.

Alice
I need you!

Dora
If I was cheating, what were you gonna do? Were you gonna stay with me? Get a divorce? Take me for half my shit? You don’t need me, you need security. And it’s stepping out the door.

Alice
Please don’t leave me…

Dora
I’ll be back tomorrow with some people from work to get some of my things. The house is in just my name, so I’m giving you a month to find somewhere else to go. Then I’m kicking you out.

Alice
I don’t have–

Dora
Don’t have anywhere to go? You have family somewhere. Find them, because you’re gone in one month.

Daily Dialogue: Harley and Ivy Bring Sexy Back

Posted in Dialogue, Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2015 by Rathan Krueger

It’s Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy Day! Let’s see what sort of madness they’re up to.

Ivy
What’s wrong with your face?

Harley
I’m blue, Red…

Ivy
No, you’re chalk-white.

Harley
I mean in-SIDE.

Ivy
But guts are pink.

Harley
Geez, can’t a college grad be poetical once inna while?

Ivy
Oh, you meant you’re sad.

Harley
Yeah! Yeah…

Ivy
Sometimes you’re a bit literal, so don’t blame me misunderstanding. Like that time you said you felt ten feet tall.

Harley
It was a tall tree!

Ivy
Why are you sad? Blue?

Harley
Because no one wants me…

Ivy
Aww, poor thing. I want you.

Harley
It’s not tha same, Red.

Ivy
You don’t have to try to bring me down with you.

Harley
I didn’t mean it that way! I’ll always want my patch of moss and peach. Who knew they’d go so well together?

Ivy
How did you mean it?

Harley
I need a man!

Ivy
What kind?

Harley
Why, ya got any?

Ivy
I might.

Harley
Really?!

Ivy
There’s a party at a classy hotel tonight full of millionaire hypocrites. I was thinking about raiding it and… procuring support for environmental causes. If I can also get my friend laid, where’s the wrong?

Harley
Where’s the wrong, indeed!

Ivy
But why do you feel no one wants you? Have you seen the girls at comic conventions?

Harley
But there’s no follow-through, Red! All tha guys and gals look, but they don’t touch. I wanna be touched, damnit!

Ivy
It’s pretty common, actually. Happens to me all the time. Except with jerks and dude-bros. But I handle them.

Harley
With extreme prejudice?

Ivy
Is there no other kind with those types?

Harley
If there is, I don’t wanna know about it. So, what’s tha problem ya have that I do?

Ivy
Being the prettiest one in the room.

Harley
Ain’t that tha truth…

Ivy
Everyone assumes that since I’m me, I’m already taken.

Harley
That does make a kinda sorta little lotta sense.

Ivy
And if I could be so bold…

Harley
Be tha Sharpie!

Ivy
Your look might be a little intimidating.

Harley
I can’t help my skin and hair color! It’s cuz of my ex-puddin’!

Ivy
I know, and I wasn’t talking about that. People love pale women with bi-colored hair. It’s… everything else.

Harley
But I like my handlebars…

Ivy
Well, tonight you’re gonna put them away.

Harley
Just tonight?

Ivy
If you want a man for longer, you’ll have to–

Harley
Eff that! No man, woman, child, animal, vegetable, or mineral is worth me permanently changing myself. Anymore.

Ivy
Then it’s just tonight. Let’s start with your hair. I think the Louise Brooks look would work for you.

Harley
Louise? Louise?! Yer gonna make me look like a broad named Louise?!

Ivy
Look her up on your smartphone you stole from that kid.

Harley
Hey, if he appreciated it, he wouldn’ta let it go after only ONE gut-punch. Ooo, she’s pretty! I want her helmet hair! I want it I want it I want it!

Ivy
I’ll chop up a wig, then.

Harley
Yay!

Ivy
They say clothes make the man, but I feel the reverse is true.

Harley
I don’t have those parts…

Ivy
I wasn’t– We need to give you a personality to fit the crime.

Harley
What crime? Who told you?!

Ivy
The heads you’re gonna make explode at the hotel while I… procure things.

Harley
Oh! Right! Gotcha! Hey… What’s wrong with my charming eccentricity?

Ivy
Not a thing, but I don’t think it’s right for tonight. Remember when you tossed that monkey into that lion’s den?

Harley
Hee, yeah.

Ivy
That monkey didn’t like it, did it?

Harley
No, but that lion liked that monkey.

Ivy
That monkey would’ve wanted to be with other monkeys, wouldn’t it?

Harley
Or at least outta that lion.

Ivy
It’s the same thing tonight.

Harley
Ya want me to fling my poo?

Ivy
No! I want you to pretend that you fit in!

Harley
Oh! Right! Gotcha!

Ivy
And the best way for a woman to fit in with millionaires is to distract them with sex appeal.

Harley
Hey, I’m–

Ivy
Let’s leave the lying for the professional liars. Now, you can be sexy or S-E-exy.

Harley
What’s tha diff?

Ivy
You can either be Britney Spears in that “Stronger” video–

Harley
With tha chair?

Ivy
Yeah.

Harley
Ooo…

Ivy
Or you can be Kylie Minogue in–

Harley
Kylie Minogue.

Ivy
Oh yeah?

Harley
She was never not-hot. Even in that “Locomotion” video.

Ivy
I think she was 16 then…

Harley
And I’m younger than her, so it’s not jailbait.

Ivy
Uh… huh.

Harley
Can I bring one of those robo-broncos?

Ivy
One of those what?

Harley
Ya know, a mechanical bull. Kylie rode one of those in a lingerie commercial. I think I could make it work.

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