Daily Dialogue: Stinky Break

For 20 minutes, I take a pen to paper and write two people talking completely and utterly unprepared.

Jenny

You know what I’m sick of?

Farrah

That smell?

Jenny

You too?

Farrah

Like you wouldn’t believe. Where’s it coming from?

Jenny

I think it’s by that tree.

Farrah

We’re in a park. Which tree?

Jenny

That one over there.

Farrah

We. Are in.

Jenny

The one with the bent trunk.

Farrah

Oh. Yeah, that looks like it stinks.

Jenny

See? So let’s check it out.

Farrah

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Years of evolution has taught me to stay away from strange things. That’s what keeps me away from fungus. And Andy Dick.

Jenny

Andy Dick? Where’d you pull that from?

Farrah

I was watching MTV earlier and lamenting a few things.

Jenny

Like Andy Dick?

Farrah

Like “Daria.”

Jenny

I miss her, too… I still don’t approve of you pulling out Andy Dick.

Farrah

Hey, I don’t approve of a lot of dick being pulled out.

Jenny

Can we get back to the crooked wood?

Farrah

I’ve seen a few of those pulled out, too.

Jenny

Farrah.

Farrah

They work just as good as the straight ones.

Jenny

FARRAH!

Farrah

If you didn’t notice, I was trying to distract you from going to that tree. What if a hobo’s back there?

Jenny

That’s not a hobo smell.

Farrah

Hobo’s have a particular smell? I thought stank was stank.

Jenny

You go to Downtown Chicago enough times and your nose becomes acute to certain aromas.

Farrah

Where do you find hobos downtown?

Jenny

The tree.

Farrah

Damnit. So it’s not a hobo smell. What, praytell, might it be?

Jenny

Smells like…

Farrah

Teen spirit?

Jenny

Rotting vegetables.

Farrah

Teen spirit. Wait, you’re curious about why the smell of rotting vegetables is coming from a weird-looking tree?

Jenny

Yeah. Oh. Yeah, that’s stupid.

Farrah

Deflection for the win! Back to our original task…

Jenny

Yes.

Farrah

I’m not sure things are gonna work out between Chris and I.

Jenny

What? But you’ve been all about him for years.

Farrah

I know, I know, but I’m starting to see the cracks. Not like being annoyed that he doesn’t shave everyday. The kind of cracks that you can’t ignore.

Jenny

Like what?

Farrah

He’s so focused on preserving his life instead of enhancing his life.

Jenny

What do you mean?

Farrah

He’ll go on for HOURS about worrying about how he needs to scrapbook everything. We’ve got so many fucking scrapbooks around the house…

Jenny

What do you mean by him not enhancing his life?

Farrah

He doesn’t wanna bother thinking about how times are changing! I thought about “Daria,” sure, but I don’t spend every waking moment wishing it came back. And I think he’s kinda sexist.

Jenny

How’d he manage to hide that from you for years?

Farrah

Love makes you ignore faults. I’m glad I got to spend the time I have with him, but he’s not gonna change, and I will.

Jenny

So when are you gonna break up with him?

Farrah

Right now.

Jenny

Over the phone? Cold-blooded.

Farrah

At least it’s not a text message.

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