Daily Dialogue: Cyndi Takes Us Outside

Twenty minutes a day, two women talk the time away through my keys without me knowing how to start or where to end.

Miko
I wish the weather didn’t suck so much.

Cyndi
Yeah, I know. But it sucks everywhere eventually. Tropical places with fun in the sun get hurricanes. Or volcanoes. Or earthquakes.

Miko
I get it: never go back to Japan.

Cyndi
Aw, you can go. Just check your almanacs.

Miko
You can still buy almanacs?

Cyndi
Yeah! Somewhere…

Miko
Let’s go find one!

Cyndi
You wanna go hunt down an almanac? In this weather?

Miko
Why not? Stupidity of youth, right? Plus, youth has some restorative powers that’ll help with the frostbite that could happen.

Cyndi
You’re not making a good argument to find my parka.

Miko
Ok, fine, let’s not get an almanac.

Cyndi
That’s better.

Miko
Frigid queen.

Cyndi
No, that would’ve been me if I went out there. Now I’m just a bitch.

Miko
Aw, you’re not a bitch.

Cyndi
Yeah, you’re right. Where would we find an almanac?

Miko
Walgreen’s? Meijer? Wal-Mart? Barnes and Noble? Books-a-Million?

Cyndi
I don’t think anyone at any of those places is old enough to know what an almanac is.

Miko
I dunno, I’ve seen some pretty old people work the counter at Wal-Mart.

Cyndi
I’m not going there, those parking lots are deathtraps.

Miko
Oh yeah. Remember when that cart came out of nowhere and you almost killed us?

Cyndi
I thought it was a tiny elephant!

Miko
A tiny elephant? In the middle of suburbia?

Cyndi
I didn’t say I was always a rational human being.

Miko
Ok, so no Wal-Mart.

Cyndi
Nein.

Miko
Wait, why are we looking for almanacs?

Cyndi
Dunno, it was your idea. Something about going back to Japan for volcanoes.

Miko
That’s fucking stupid, I don’t want one now.

Cyndi
I think you just want to get out the house.

Miko
I think you’re right.

Cyndi
And would go so far as to use almanacs as a reason, and use Wal-Mart as a destination.

Miko
Crumbs, you’re right. I’m just BORED.

Cyndi
Hey, no one’s telling you to stay home.

Miko
No one’s telling me to leave, either.

Cyndi
Leave, Miko, leave. Leave!

Miko
But I don’t know where to go! And it’s terribly desolate outside.

Cyndi
It’d have to be for you to dust off those words.

Miko
Hey, shut up, words are great.

Cyndi
Indubitably! Ugh. Almost had a stroke with that one.

Miko
Need a paper bag or some sugar pills?

Cyndi
No, just for you to get out the house.

Miko
But it’s too cold for that aimless driving bullshit. Maybe in the summer.

Cyndi
So what then? I’ve already laid down my demand.

Miko
I know, I know. Support my local comic book store?

Cyndi
Sure why not. Bonus points if they have “Dogwitch”.

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