Daily Dialogue: In Over Her Head (or, happy birthday)

Two women are gonna talk for 20 minutes and I have no idea what they’ll say. Let’s find out.

Officer Brandy
Sit down, please.

Tiff
I ain’t did nothin’! And your partner already searched me!

Officer Brandy
Sit down and prove that you’re right.

Tiff
You ain’t no boss of me! These handcuffs don’t mean squat!

Officer Brandy
I’ll only say it one more time. Sit down please.

Tiff
Yo ass just gonna have to shoot me, then, ’cause I ain’t– YOU SHOT ME! YOU CRAZY BITCH, YOU SHOT ME IN THE LEG!

Officer Brandy
Because you didn’t listen to the neo-Nazi. Now you can’t stand. If you don’t listen to me, I’m afraid that I’ll have to make sure that you never stand again.

Tiff
What, you gonna throw me in some fuckin’ shower and kill me? Do it!

Officer Brandy
Then how will I get answers? I’ll shoot your knees. Ever bumped them on something? There was never a time when it felt pleasant. What do you think them shattering would feel like?

Tiff
Crazy bitch…

Officer Brandy
Now. Where were you last night?

Tiff
I was where I was at!

Officer Brandy
Oh dear, I feel another bullet coming on.

Tiff
Ok! I was at that rally.

Officer Brandy
I know you were. What were you doing there?

Tiff
Tryin’ to get fucked. Ok ok! I thought about joinin’ them dudes. They spoke some mad truths.

Officer Brandy
And what were some of the things that convinced you?

Tiff
That yo daddy’s a dead sumbitch! Fuck, my knee! You can’t be doin’ this to me! I’m female!

Officer Brandy
And I, according to your friends, am a monster. I should live up to my namesake, yes?

Tiff
I don’t give a fuck what you do, you crazy bitch! Just let me go! And get me a doctor!

Officer Brandy
Dear, dear, dear… Do you know any other words to call me? Do you know what a bitch is? While you’re bleeding to death? A female dog.

Tiff
And that’s what yo bitch-ass is! A fuckin’ dog!

Officer Brandy
You’ll soon regret that. Dogs, when in heat, take their sex no matter the cost. The mating urge is so strong, you see. I feel that I should fulfill my duties.

Tiff
I ain’t no dyke!

Officer Brandy
No matter the cost.

Tiff
Wait, you need answers, right? I got ’em! I got ’em all!

Officer Brandy
No, my colleagues do. They interrogated your friends an hour before you were brought her. You’re a birthday present.

Tiff
Wait! Wait!

Officer Brandy
Open wounds, too. They’ll make you squirm. I love it when they squirm.

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One Response to “Daily Dialogue: In Over Her Head (or, happy birthday)”

  1. Spicy dialog. Snappy comebacks. I like it.

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