Daily Dialogue: Gypsy Queen, King of Pop

For 40 minutes a day, I funnel creative chaos through two aimless female characters.

Ann
What is it about gypsies do you love so much?

Lou
I love gypsies?

Ann
Have you seen your apartment lately?

Lou
Are we gonna keep speaking in questions?

Ann
If you keep it up, sure?

Lou
Well, enough of that.

Ann
Aw, man…

Lou
So. Back to gypsies and my apparent love of them.

Ann
It’s true, you went full-Romani in the past month.

Lou
I wouldn’t say that.

Ann
What would you say, then?

Lou
That I was expanding my horizons as a lover of the world?

Ann
Would that include gypsies?

Lou
Oh no, we’re not starting that again.

Ann
Aw, man…

Lou
Ok, so I own a few albums from the Romani people.

Ann
You have Gogol Bordello’s entire discography.

Lou
Yeah, but… Party! And that doesn’t make me an honorary gypsy.

Ann
How do you feel about fiddles?

Lou
Love ’em. And that’s racist.

Ann
Explain the clothes.

Lou
What clothes?

Ann
The pile over there that didn’t exist a month ago.

Lou
That one?

Ann
Yes, that one. It jingles every time I walk to the kitchen .

Lou
Well, maybe you should stop stomping.

Ann
I’m a dancer, ok? I have to have good foot placement at all times.

Lou
Sounds like an excuse to me.

Ann
It is an excuse, which is something you haven’t given me yet for that pile yet. Look, I’m not knocking your new lifestyle. Romanis are good people and they dance like you wouldn’t believe. I just want you to be honest with yourself.

Lou
I am being honest. You’re just looking between the lines that aren’t there.

Ann
I noticed that you have a few travel pamphlets about Egypt on the table, too.

Lou
A woman can’t have clutter?

Ann
Gypsies are called such because they’re from Egypt. Kinda like how people from Nigeria are the ones who were first given the cruel, ignorant name, nigger.

Lou
I read the same book, Ann.

Ann
I know, it was your book. My point is, no one in their right mind would go to Egypt in the current climate unless they were chasing a particular dragon.

Lou
Africa doesn’t have dragons.

Ann
Quit deflecting. If someone wanted to go to the place where gypsies got started, I’d imagine that’d be a good reason to head there. Heh. Head.

Lou
What’s funny about head?

Ann
That dictator in Egypt got his head chopped off a while ago.

Lou
You’re fucked-up, Ann.

Ann
Yeah, but I’m honest about it. Damnit, woman. Admit that you’re in love with Romani culture so we can move on.

Lou
Only to shut you up about it. Fine. I love Romani.

Ann
Knew it.

Lou
So what’s so important that you needed to get to?

Ann
Nothing, I just wanted to be right.

Lou
Bravo to you, then.

Ann
Thank you, thank you.

Lou
How’s dancing been?

Ann
There’s a Michael Jackson revival going on amongst the theatrical dance communities and–

Lou
But he never danced in theatre.

Ann
Lots of things don’t happen in theatre, but that doesn’t stop us from making it so.

Lou
Carry on.

Ann
My troupe wants to get in on it but we’re all of the mind to stay away from “Thriller.”

Lou
Aw, man…

Ann
Everyone does “Thriller.” Prisons in Asia do “Thriller.” Fuck “Thriller.”

Lou
I wouldn’t say that too close to the window.

Ann
FUCK “THRILLER.”

Lou
Great, are you happy now? My apartment’s gonna get napalmed by dancing zombies now. Since you’re not doing… That Song, what are you gonna do?

Ann
We can’t decide between “Bad” and “Smooth Criminal.”

Lou
Which one was in the 1930s club?

Ann
The latter.

Lou
What about the former?

Ann
A subway.

Lou
Oh yeah! Didn’t the guy who made “Wolf of Wall Street” make that?

Ann
Yes, and many other classics.

Lou
Isn’t the stage yea wide?

Ann
Yeah.

Lou
How are you gonna fit a subway there?

Ann
We can’t.

Lou
So how would you do “Bad” onstage if you obviously don’t have enough room?

Ann
We wouldn’t do it onstage.

Lou
Then how would you… No. No!

Ann
Yup.

Lou
But a flash mob of that size and complexity is madness. It’s Sparta!

Ann
Yeah, but it’d be so worth it, wouldn’t it?

Lou
Indubitably. You all are nuckin’ futs. Who’d be the King of Pop?

Ann
This Dutchess of Theatre.

Lou
You’re so vain.

Ann
And this song is about me.

Lou
When would you plan on doing it?

Ann
If the troupe decides to do it, we’d rehearse for two or three months.

Lou
That’s a long time.

Ann
Gotta do it right. And plan our path like an invasion.

Lou
I hope you use guerilla tactics because, man, if things go wrong–

Ann
Yeah, yeah, the clink, yeah.

Lou
Well, if you have any space for a little gypsy magic…

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