Daily Dialogue: A New You (pending psych approval)

Forty minutes each day, two women talk and talk and talk in my mind.

Dr. West
Tell me why you’re here, Ginny.

Ginny
You know why I’m here. Look at me.

Dr. West
I want you to say it. Otherwise, I don’t know you’re serious.

Ginny
I need to get a psych eval because I want plastic surgery, and some bitch passed a law that forces anyone considering it to make sure they’re mentally sound.

Dr. West
It’s the same process that transexuals go through.

Ginny
Yeah, but I don’t want a cock. I want tits and a new nose.

Dr. West
Your vulgarity won’t win or lose you any points.

Ginny
Yeah, but it makes me feel good. Isn’t that what shrinks want? For their patients to feel good?

Dr. West
Normally, yes. But I’m not your shrink. I’m your mental analyst. I don’t care whether you feel good or not. I just need to know if the reasons why you want your… alterations–

Ginny
My tits and nose.

Dr. West
–are sound.

Ginny
I’m guessing you have a problem with plastic surgery.

Dr. West
My problems are my own. My desire–

Ginny
Ooo, desires aren’t so private, are they?

Dr. West
–is that you treat me with the respect you’d want. Or you can leave now.

Ginny
But you’re the only one I can afford and have money left over for my stuff.

Dr. West
Then I guess you better check your attitude, no?

Ginny
Ok, so, what do you wanna know?

Dr. West
Why do you want plastic surgery?

Ginny
To fill a bra and smell a rose.

Dr. West
Stuff said bra and blow your nose.

Ginny
What kind of shrink are you?

Dr. West
One who doesn’t tolerate people who don’t take me seriously. I don’t need you. The reverse, however, isn’t true. Since I’m the only psychiatrist in your pay grade, I suggest you come around to my way of thinking. Or, stuff your bra and blow your nose.

Ginny
What was the question again?

Dr. West
Why do you want plastic surgery?

Ginny
Which body part do I start with?

Dr. West
Whichever you’re comfortable with.

Ginny
I’m not comfortable with either, that’s why I wanna change them.

Dr. West
Oh. True. Talk about your nose.

Ginny
Look at it!

Dr. West
Talk about it.

Ginny
It doesn’t look right and doesn’t work like it should.

Dr. West
Why do you say that?

Ginny
My nostrils are too big and, just to spite me, I can’t smell things.

Dr. West
How long have you felt this way?

Ginny
A few months.

Dr. West
Are you a model?

Ginny
Yeah.

Dr. West
What do photographers and your peers say about your nose?

Ginny
What does it matter? I’m not comfortable with it.

Dr. West
Do they talk about it?

Ginny
No, ok? They think my nose is fine.

Dr. West
It looks like a regular nose to me.

Ginny
Yeah, well, you take it.

Dr. West
I’m fine with mine. Do you remember what you were doing around the time you developed this problem with your nose?

Ginny
I went to a lot of clubs back then, so not really.

Dr. West
What did you do in these clubs?

Ginny
Was one of those things I signed a confidentiality agreement?

Dr. West
Anything short of murder I can’t mention to anyone.

Ginny
I fucked, got fucked, and got fucked-up.

Dr. West
I see.

Ginny
I don’t need your judgmental stare.

Dr. West
Did you fornicate with strangers?

Ginny
Of course.

Dr. West
Were there any penalties?

Ginny
I lucked-out. No STDs, no pregnancy, no shame.

Dr. West
Very lucky. What were your vices?

Ginny
Drug and drink.

Dr. West
Hard drugs?

Ginny
Just cocaine.

Dr. West
Were you as lucky with cocaine as you were with sex?

Ginny
What do you mean?

Dr. West
It’s a simple question. Did drugs affect you?

Ginny
No, I was fine. I even quit the habit a few months ago.

Dr. West
All of a sudden?

Ginny
Yeah.

Dr. West
Why?

Ginny
I didn’t wanna overdose.

Dr. West
Did you know someone who did?

Ginny
What do you mean?

Dr. West
Did you, Ginny, during your drug days see anyone overdose on cocaine.

Ginny
Once, but it wasn’t my fault.

Dr. West
Who was it?

Ginny
Zell.

Dr. West
Who was Zell?

Ginny
…she was my sister.

Dr. West
Were you close?

Ginny
Yeah.

Dr. West
Were you there when she died?

Ginny
Yeah.

Dr. West
Where were you?

Ginny
…under her. It’s not what you think! We were close, but not freaky close.

Dr. West
Why were you under her?

Ginny
It was a party and people were throwing around drugs and she never had coke before.

Dr. West
And?

Ginny
It wasn’t my coke, ok? I forgot whose it was, but it definitely wasn’t mine! I couldn’t score any that week.

Dr. West
And?

Ginny
And someone had some and we joked around with Zell and made her loosey-goosey with some vodka and…

Dr. West
Yes?

Ginny
And we dared her to do a few lines off me.

Dr. West
From where?

Ginny
Off of my breasts.

Dr. West
How many lines did she do?

Ginny
Five.

Dr. West
And it was her first time? Why didn’t you stop her after the first one?

Ginny
Because I was more gone than she was, but I can handle my high. I could always handle my high.

Dr. West
What happened after she did the last of the cocaine.

Ginny
She convulsed and died on top of me. Everyone else laughed.

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