Daily Dialogue: A Case of the Fridays

For 40 minutes a day, I write two women talk-talk-talking with no idea of what they’ll say.

Gillian
Can I tell you how much I hate Fridays?

Lydia
Whoa, Fridays? Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Hatred for those heathen days I understand. But Fridays? They’re the universe’s gift to humanity for putting up with five-day work week.

Gillian
Why are Thursdays bad?

Lydia
Because they’re as close to Friday as you can get without being Friday. It’s like having a great dinner behind a shatterproof glass door and you have the key, but said key is on a ring with hundreds of others.

Gillian
I think you haven’t gotten over losing your keys quite yet.

Lydia
That’s because I have no idea how I lost them! I retraced my steps yesterday after losing them. Can you guess what yesterday was? That’s right. Thursday. Day of the key-hoarding pagans.

Gillian
Now, now. No need to take your frustrations out on ancient religions.

Lydia
Why not? They’re too senile to fight back and I have to drop around a hundred dollars to get all the copies I need.

Gillian
Perhaps you shouldn’t need so many keys.

Lydia
Hey, I don’t tell you how to live your life. And stop hating Fridays.

Gillian
But they make it so easy.

Lydia
How?

Gillian
Every time I make plans to do something by myself on Fridays, plans either fall apart or I lose the push that makes me move.

Lydia
Shouldn’t you be taking your anger out on yourself instead of the precious?

Gillian
I love myself too much to do that to me.

Lydia
Why is it important to do things by yourself?

Gillian
Because I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

Lydia
Well, Pee Wee, what do you usually plan on doing by yourself?

Gillian
Going to clubs or finding dates.

Lydia
I see.

Gillian
Like soon, I wanna go to my favorite club because it’s have a Goth night and there’s no cover.

Lydia
Poe’s bells!

Gillian
Quiet you.

Lydia
What do you plan on doing on Sturm und Drang Night?

Gillian
Enjoying life with my fellow black clads, maybe get a dance or two with a ginger in fishnets, maybe… maybe… Tee-hee.

Lydia
Sounds like you’d really like to go.

Gillian
Hearing is believing.

Lydia
So why don’t you?

Gillian
Because it’s downtown.

Lydia
But you always go downtown. Fuck, Gillian, you go to other states. For less than gingers in fishnets!

Gillian
A lot less…

Lydia
So what’s the problem?

Gillian
I don’t wanna be disappointed again.

Lydia
That old hat?

Gillian
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna bring the mood down.

Lydia
Damn straight, you’re not. Sorry. Damn gay, you’re not.

Gillian
You can say “straight.”

Lydia
This is Friday, so throw your cares away.

Gillian
I just don’t want it to be like that rave we went to.

Lydia
That was some good ex that night.

Gillian
Yeah, and it turned you into my nanny the car ride home.

Lydia
Ok, so the rave sucked. But you weren’t with your brothers and sisters of mercy.

Gillian
Heh. Nice of you to fit that band in there.

Lydia
Thank you, thank you.

Gillian
But the other Goth club I went to a few times stunk.

Lydia
Is that the one you’d be going to?

Gillian
Fuck no, the one I’m going to had those awesome David Bowie nights. The DJ played one of my favorite Bowie songs at the stroke of midnight on my birthday. And a burlesque dancer made me help her undress.

Lydia
Oh no!

Gillian
And I was introduced to Bjork that night in a big, bad way. And–

Lydia
You really don’t have an excuse to not go, wouldn’t you say?

Gillian
…maybe.

Lydia
Is that the only bad Friday thing a-comin’?

Gillian
…no.

Lydia
What else is there?

Gillian
Next Friday, the club’s having a geek night with a burlesque show and anyone wearing a costume gets in free.

Lydia
Oh? So that’d mean you’d have a reason to wear that–

Gillian
ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.

Lydia
Sure, Galadriel. You’re not really helping your case. That’s it?

Gillian
Another geeky place is having a singles Valentine’s Day afternoon.

Lydia
Wookin’ pa nub in all the right places, eh?

Gillian
Ok, ok. On the surface, things look awesome. And don’t try feeding me that bullshit of thinking positively.

Lydia
I know better than that. Positivity makes the fall hurt more. However. Might I remind you of the teaches of Fun?

Gillian
…put one foot in front of the other.

Lydia
This year’s starting off awesomely because you decided to take life by the horns instead of letting it happen to you.

Gillian
Yeah…

Lydia
Keep running with it and grab a ginger by her pigtails.

Gillian
Yeah!

Lydia
Make them remember you, Gillian! Make them remember what great tastes like!

Gillian
YEAH!

Lydia
Leave in your wake legions of spent gingers, too exhausted from the ecstasy you’ll smite them with to do more than stare at the sky. Have them sing songs of your conquests in Ireland, Russia, and wherever gingers lurk. Make it so that gingers speak your name under whispered breaths for anything louder will send them into ‘Nam flashbacks and leave them quivering and useless for an age. Make them bow down at your awesomeness. Make them yours.

Gillian
YEAH!!

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