Daily Dialogue: The Lurking Ex

No post yesterday because I was surprised with errands and was too burnt-out. Lesson learned: make ’em wait. It only takes 40 minutes, right? To write two women talking randomly? Worth waiting for, yeah? Yeah.

Lauren
Hey.

Nikki
…hi.

Lauren
Funny you being here.

Nikki
Are you serious? You and I both know I come here all the time.

Lauren
Yeah, you were a creature of habit.

Nikki
What do you want?

Lauren
To catch up. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, you don’t return my calls or texts or emails. So I figure I should stop by one of your haunts.

Nikki
Are you fucking nuts? You cheated on me. We haven spoken in years because you cheated on me with my friend.

Lauren
Yeah, but time goes on. Heals wounds. Etc.

Nikki
Go fuck yourself.

Lauren
Your friend still takes care of that for me, so I’m good.

Nikki
I don’t need this shit.

Lauren
Hey, I’m just returning the favor. You said something bad to me, so I had to do the same. I can’t believe you still haven’t gotten over that. Everyone else has.

Nikki
I don’t talk to them anymore.

Lauren
Because you feel betrayed? Oh, get over yourself. And look at me. It’s rude to not make eye contact.

Nikki
It’s rude to cheat. And if I look at you, I’m gonna kill you.

Lauren
So dramatic.

Nikki
Your lover knows a few things about dramatics, too.

Lauren
You haven’t gotten over that, either? It was only a cup of water. I mean, you said that you didn’t care if I lived or died. You’re lucky he didn’t punch you.

Nikki
You’re lucky I don’t punch you.

Lauren
Back to violence? If I remember correctly, I wore the pants in our relationship.

Nikki
Why am I still talking to you?

Lauren
I don’t know, why? Oh, wait. Could it be because I’ll make a scene if you leave? I don’t care about this place, but you don’t wanna be known as the gal who left them with the crazy bitch, do you? Enough people have seen us talking so they’ll know you had something to do with me. I even think one or two people here were around when we dated.

Nikki
What do you want?

Lauren
I told you. To catch up.

Nikki
Was I a phase?

Lauren
What? As in, dating you? Kinda. I mean, I thought I liked girls so I dated a few to be sure. But, I loved cock too much to give it up. Plus, women are too much trouble.

Nikki
You bitch.

Lauren
Would it make you feel better if I reminded you that you were my last woman? Ever, because even if this thing with your friend ends one day, I’m sticking with men. Your lips, both sets, are the last bit of femininity I’ll ever crave. Bragging rights, right?

Nikki
I can’t take this.

Lauren
Good, we’ll both scream. Do you think we’ll both get banned? Good luck finding a decent place like this for at least three counties.

Nikki
Catch up how?

Lauren
Look at me.

Nikki
I’m not fucking looking at you.

Lauren
Alright, we’ll work on that. I heard you got a new job.

Nikki
Yeah.

Lauren
Doing what?

Nikki
Work.

Lauren
I feel a slow scream coming on…

Nikki
I got hired by DC Comics to do a Batgirl comic.

Lauren
Batgirl? She’s Batman’s daughter, right?

Nikki
What do you want?

Lauren
Allan’s still a bit of a drawer.

Nikki
He… Heh. Heh heh heh. Hahahahahaha!

Lauren
What’s so funny, clown?

Nikki
I don’t use Facebook anymore, but I have friends who do. Some whom I still talk to.

Lauren
What’s your point?

Nikki
I sometimes get told how the lives of my betrayers are. Funny, heh, that their lives are still more or less the same. After all this time. Still waitressing, slinging phones, and whatnot. Still doing nothing with drawing because he hasn’t gotten any better. You’d think with the great Lauren, he’d have done something with his life by now. Hasn’t he?

Lauren
He’s had a few jobs.

Nikki
Doing the painting on the wall of the bar that was SO bad, the owner asked for her money back? Is that one of the jobs?

Lauren
He didn’t have enough time.

Nikki
He had three months to paint a ten foot wall.

Lauren
He didn’t have to give all the money back, so fuck you.

Nikki
I know he didn’t, because he got 20 bucks to paint over what he did with green paint.

Lauren
He’s gonna be a great artist someday.

Nikki
I’m sure. Because you’re expecting me to get him a job with one of the three biggest comic companies. Right?

Lauren
I’m glad you’re not as stupid as I left you.

Nikki
But, you know what? Fuck off. How about that?

Lauren
What did you say?

Nikki
Fuck off? I’ll even look at you this time. Fuck off. You left me for someone whose ego is the complete opposite of his skill and ambition. Must be hard getting awesome sex from that guy, knowing how pitiful he is. Or is the sex the only thing that makes him worth being with? Too settled to bother getting out of it? Too afraid of the big, bad world to set foot in it again? You’re getting old now. I wouldn’t have had a problem with it. In fact, I think older women are hot. But I’m just one brokenhearted writer. The world’s full of billions of people who think women are worthless after 25. Normally, the thought of that would’ve pissed me off. But now, it’s delicious. How does it feel being garbage?

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6 Responses to “Daily Dialogue: The Lurking Ex”

  1. This is great. You tell her. What really gets me is she has no remorse about cheating whatsoever, and is willing to extort you for her own gain. She sounds soulless.

    • I’m glad you enjoyed it. Or rather, enjoyed it as much as you could with a character like Lauren in it. Sadly, she’s an amalgam of two women I’ve known, so she exists. Kinda. I’ve been writing shades of likable women for a while and wanted to create someone truly unrepentant, in the worst way possible. So I’m glad at least one person enjoyed it instead of beating me with bricks.

      • I’ve known a few Laurens, and I hope and pray to find the backbone to be honest and call them out. If no one does, they don’t get a chance to self reflect and change into better people. No one is beyond hope for improvement, even people like Lauren.
        As much as that behavior infuriates me, I would do my best to help them understand that what they are doing hurts others. You never know when someone will do a 180 and turn their lives around.

      • That’s where my humanism loses out to my nihilism, because I’d feel that someone like Lauren was too far gone to be helped. I mean, I’d point out that they’re wrong and why, but I doubt someone like her would listen. They probably heard stuff like that all their lives and instead of listening, they just made more mental callouses so they wouldn’t be affected. I’ve known people like that, too. Hmm. I guess I have a pretty dark catalogue of humanity.

      • Fair enough. It’s hard not to, but I like to think that anyone can be redeemed. But it has to be their choice, you know?

      • Yeah. I’ve found that you can’t force someone to accept help or change, even if it’s the tiniest bit of both. It’s kinda like when someone’s wearing their T-shirt inside out, you tell them that it’s inside out, and they look at you funny. Except the t-shirt’s their awful personality.

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