Daily Dialogue: Goodbye, Desperate Love, Goodbye

Today, and (almost) everyday, I sit down for 40 minutes with two imaginary women and write whatever ramblings they spew.

Clarissa
I can’t take this anymore.

Beverly
I thought you moved on.

Clarissa
It’s not that I moved on, I just distracted myself.

Beverly
Is she your Madonna or your whore now?

Clarissa
What?

Beverly
You’ve never heard of that before?

Clarissa
No.

Beverly
The Madonna-whore complex. When in love, men, or women now, sometimes elevate the object of their affection to such heights, or drop them to such depths. To treat her like a Madonna means that she’s put on a pedestal, essentially. She can do no wrong and she’s so pure that you don’t wanna even kiss her because that might dirty her up.

Clarissa
And the other? The… whore?

Beverly
Yeah, the whore. Treat her like shit because that’s what she is to them and they’ll never love her back. I’m always amazed in a sad sorta way how many women put up with being a whore. In the metaphorical sense.

Clarissa
Are there a lot?

Beverly
Ha! Every woman who goes back to her abusive man, or woman, fits that description.

Clarissa
Yeah… I’ve never understood that, either.

Beverly
Maybe because women are a lot more dependent on that relationship bond than men. Or “women” and “men,” since all sorts of gender relationships exist now. But there’s always gonna be a masculine partner and a feminine partner.

Clarissa
Men take break-ups harder than women, though, in the long run.

Beverly
That’s because we vent to our friends. Before video games, men just sat around and drank by themselves. Now, they get to run over their exes and pretend every zombie has her face. It’s fucked-up and I’d rather them talk, but it’s better than hearing about another woman in intensive care thanks to some guy she was trying to hook up with.

Clarissa
Are you the male or female in the relationship?

Beverly
I should be asking you, you’re the gay one.

Clarissa
Yeah, but you know women can wear the pants in a traditional relationship as easily as men.

Beverly
Lemme put it this way: I love showing off my garters. You?

Clarissa
I think I’m male.

Beverly
Not the best way to enter a relationship.

Clarissa
I mean, I do the asking-out and it’s my hand between her legs.

Beverly
Who leads when you dance?

Clarissa
Who dances?

Beverly
Ugh, you and your rainbow bandits need to get some culture in your lives. And YOOOOOOOUUU.

Clarissa
Me?

Beverly
Need to get her out of your system.

Clarissa
But I really would like to be with her.

Beverly
You two are from different worlds. Almost literally. And you barely know anything about her. And I refuse to know an obsessive stalker.

Clarissa
I can’t be a stalker, I don’t know where she lives.

Beverly
Not the best reply to that statement.

Clarissa
What?

Beverly
Why do you think it could work between you?

Clarissa
Because she’s pretty and we like the same things.

Beverly
What things?

Clarissa
Uh… Movies?

Beverly
Hitler loved Disney, that doesn’t mean he has an in with every “Little Mermaid” fan. What else do you two like?

Clarissa
That’s… it.

Beverly
She’s becoming your Madonna.

Clarissa
No, she’s– Maybe.

Beverly
Why couldn’t it work between you two?

Clarissa
She might not like… my lifestyle. She’s, like you said, practically a world away. I’m selfish with my girlfriends. Not in a you-can’t-have-a-life-outisde-of-mine-you-bitch way. I just like mattering as much to her as she does to me. So the job that she has might not–

Beverly
“Might not?”

Clarissa
–won’t sync up with that.

Beverly
Don’t make her your whore. Just make her a woman who was passing through your life.

Clarissa
I would’ve liked to have asked her out once, though. And gotten a hug. She looks so squishy.

Beverly
Leave your spank bank at home.

Clarissa
Sorry.

Beverly
So ask me out.

Clarissa
What?

Beverly
Pretend I’m her and slay those monsters in your basement. Get it all out.

Clarissa
But… you’re straight.

Beverly
And I’m gonna stay that way, too, so if you put your hand on my thigh, you’re gonna get a swift kick to the box. I’m just tired of you torturing yourself, and if I have to wear her mask so you can move on, so be it.

Clarissa
Thanks.

Beverly
You owe me a pizza. Ok. Go.

Clarissa
Lili, I–

Beverly
Heh. Sorry, I forgot her name was Lili. I’m sorry, go on.

Clarissa
Lili… I just wanted to start by saying that I’m a big fan of your work. I think you’re one of the most daring women of your generation. You’re probably used to people fawning over you, but that doesn’t matter to me. They’re not me. I don’t know much about you, but if I could have one night with you, it could open a world of possibilities between us. I feel that something beautiful could bloom between us if we gave each other a chance. And that’s all I’m asking. One chance. One night.

Beverly
One hug. How do you feel?

Clarissa
Better. Much better.

Beverly
Are you still thinking about her?

Clarissa
She was gone almost as soon as I finished.

Beverly
Wow, really? That’s good. That’s really good. And I didn’t have to kick you in the box. I prefer my pizza with spinach, by the by.

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