Daily Dialogue: I Am Infernal

Once a day, for 40 minutes, two imaginary women wander the chaos of the mind and talk about whatever.

Lea
I’m afraid my mind and heart are far from me this day.

Kirsty
What nonsense. You seem as clear to me as always.

Lea
A clever betrayal, I assure you.

Kirsty
But why?

Lea
Why?

Kirsty
Why do you feel separate from your two most important things, and why do you feel the need to hide your miseries from me?

Lea
It was not my intention to be opaque with you, love. Never with you. Yet, some things I feel I can’t ever share.

Kirsty
Even from me?

Lea
It is not in my nature to bear all the fruits of my ebbs and flows. I feel that they should be no one’s burden but my own.

Kirsty
Forgive my frankness, but you’ve given up such privileges the moment dawn hit your eyes after bedding me. Do you regret it?

Lea
How could anyone regret any gift you’ve given them?

Kirsty
If I recall the night properly, I was gifted by you, as well.

Lea
And sometime soon, I may gift you again. But not today.

Kirsty
Because your mind and heart exist without you. If I could remind you…

Lea
Yes?

Kirsty
Your heart rests here, next to mine, so you needn’t worry about it. For here it will stay, beyond the end of time.

Lea
Heh, yes. How foolish of me to have forgotten my thief.

Kirsty
Thief, am I?

Lea
I never give myself willingly, for the world is too cold and cruel. The only way one could have me or mine, is by wickedness.

Kirsty
Then knight me wicked, for I am quite proud of my treasure.

Lea
Wicked you are, then. Wickedness and terrible beauty wrapped in flesh and blood.

Kirsty
And what are you?

Lea
I am infernal.

Kirsty
Such a vile thing to say about oneself.

Lea
Then I am vile and infernal.

Kirsty
But the two clash with wickedness and beauty, so you cannot be so. Infernal because of you misplaced mind?

Lea
Yes.

Kirsty
But you have your wits about you. What is my name?

Lea
Kirsty, the wicked.

Kirsty
Where is my heart?

Lea
Beating under your bosom, next to mine.

Kirsty
In time with one another. Forever and ever.

Lea
My Time Lady.

Kirsty
You mind seems quite with you.

Lea
But it is not.

Kirsty
What convinces you so?

Lea
I… cannot remember.

Kirsty
You can’t remember your vexations?

Lea
No, love. I can’t remember parts of me.

Kirsty
If they’re lost to you, how do you know they were ever there?

Lea
If a building were to crumble, it would no longer stand. But there would be debris. And if the debris were removed, there would be the vacant lot.

Kirsty
My poor Lea.

Lea
So I must be infernal.

Kirsty
To have missing memories doesn’t make one damned.

Lea
But I am damned. I am damned and vile and infernal.

Kirsty
I will hear no more of this until you explain why you trust such foolishness before your heartbearer.

Lea
A sickness lurks within my family. It claims the minds of the sinful and leaves them with nothing.

Kirsty
I do not believe in sins or the damned, so I refuse to believe that you are infernal.

Lea
Then what am I?

Kirsty
Mine. And since I posses you, I will watch over you despite the memories that leave you. Even if all thoughts of me abandon you.

Lea
That can’t ever be so. I would rather die by my own hand than live not knowing who you are, what you are to me.

Kirsty
And I would rather be a stranger to you than have you take your life.

Lea
But you haven’t seen, Kirsty. You haven’t seen the horror that becomes everyone in my family who falls prey to the infernal.

Kirsty
I will.

Lea
I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to see me as a waste, a twisted shadow of who I am now.

Kirsty
Love means many things. It means that ones life is filled with terrible splendor. That two hearts beat as one. That all things carnal are even sweeter. It also means that you will only witness the worst of your love as time passes. As age and stress claim them, until death finally does. And to stay with them despite all that.

Lea
Love is a joyous and bleak thing. Thank you, Kirsty.

Kirsty
But until your mind fails you completely…

Lea
Yes?

Kirsty
I don’t wish to perform the ballad of codependency just yet.

Lea
What do you mean?

Kirsty
I want us to build a kingdom for ourselves, so that I can watch over you later.

Lea
A kingdom? But we’re mere paupers.

Kirsty
We have ambition and, for now, two powerful minds. Let us show the world what you and your wickedness can do.

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