Daily Dialogue: When Love Must Die

Even when all I have is the tiny keyboard on my tiny smartphone screen, I’ll still write two imaginary women talking to each other for 40 minutes like I do everyday. But I’m not happy about it.

Caitrin
Hey.

Josie
You’re back.

Caitrin
Of course I am. Where else would I go?

Josie
Away from me.

Caitrin
Never.

Josie
You’ll have to soon, whether you want to or not. Death has a way of ending things.

Caitrin
You’re not gonna die.

Josie
Is it always hard for an immortal to accept death?

Caitrin
Only when it involves someone they love.

Josie
We’ve been together for over fifty years. I think that’s a good run.

Caitrin
It is.

Josie
You really should find another immortal to be with.

Caitrin
We don’t exactly wanna be found.

Josie
I’ve never asked you this.

Caitrin
What?

Josie
Do you know… how you became immortal?

Caitrin
No. It’s strange but I woke up one day and knew I couldn’t die.

Josie
Did you celebrate?

Caitrin
This was thousands of years ago. We didn’t know how the sun worked back then, so to simultaneously understand the concept of death and know it didn’t apply to me… It took a long time before I could do anything.

Josie
Did you try dying?

Caitrin
No. And it was decades after my epiphany that I died the first time.

Josie
How did that happen?

Caitrin
I never told you?

Josie
No. And I never thought to ask. I figured that it’d be too traumatic to remember.

Caitrin
It used to be and, once in a while, it still is. But I’ll endure for you if it happens.

Josie
You don’t have–

Caitrin
It’s fine. It’s actually a quick story. Rape was pretty common back then, and I had the misfortune of being in the city of a losing army while the winning army invaded.

Josie
Oh no.

Caitrin
It wasn’t the first time I was raped to death. Probably won’t be the last, if he world’s as cyclical as it has been.

Josie
That’s so horrible.

Caitrin
It wasn’t always men. Or human.

Josie
What do you mean?

Caitrin
Sometimes, for “sport,” I was thrown into animal stalls and forced to do things.

Josie
You had to have fought back.

Caitrin
Look at me. I’m stuck the way I was since that thousands-year-old day. I can’t get muscles and my body can’t adapt to fighting. I can retain knowledge, but knowing isn’t enough. That’s why Neo didn’t use his kung-fu on that guy in the third Matrix film. Like it or not, men have better muscles than women most of the time. Definitely better than me. And never underestimate the power of lust. So no matter what kind of fighting back I could do, they’d always win.

Josie
I’d die before I’d let someone rape me.

Caitrin
I thought so, too. But when I was around 1,500, I gave up.

Josie
Why?

Caitrin
Got tired of waking up in weird places. And some people are turned on by corpses.

Josie
Humans are horrible.

Caitrin
Most of them.

Josie
Is that what death is like? Sleeping?

Caitrin
For me, it is. But everyone has a different experience.

Josie
How so?

Caitrin
I don’t know what goes own in peoples’ minds when they die. I can only watch them. Some handle it differently than others. But you’ve seen enough shows, films, and plays to know that.

Josie
Yeah…

Caitrin
You know, you don’t have to die soon.

Josie
You’re a magician and an immortal now?

Caitrin
In a way. I told you that it’s almost impossible for immortals to find each other. But it’s in complete opposition to how easy it is for one of us to make another.

Josie
How?

Caitrin
Eat my flesh.

Josie
What?

Caitrin
Just as I knew that I was immortal, I knew that I could make another if they ate a piece of me.

Josie
Have you? Made another immortal?

Caitrin
Eight.

Josie
Where are they?

Caitrin
Wherever the eternally reclusive go. But I didn’t love them as I love you.

Josie
I don’t want to live forever.

Caitrin
Why not?

Josie
I love you so much, Caitrin, and that love would continue. For a while. But that love would erode and pervert into hate. Because nothing lasts. What once we found dear, even for over half a century, would eventually tear us apart for eternity. No, I don’t want to be immortal. I would rather death bring us apart than hatred.

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