Daily Dialogue: Suffer the Foolish

Two imaginary women rant through my fingertips for 40 minutes a day. I might up it to 60 someday, but that’s in the distant future.

Karen
I think I’m ready.

Oswin
Did I miss part of our conversation? Ready for what?

Karen
To leave.

Oswin
We’re going somewhere?

Karen
I am. To the top.

Oswin
Top of what?

Karen
Dunno. Whenever someone says they’re going straight to the top? That top.

Oswin
Oh yeah. Why are you ready for that top?

Karen
Feelings I have changed.

Oswin
You’re ready for the fury of fans who’ll watch your every move as a dancer? You know normal women get a lot of shit for gaining a little weight. I can’t imagine what kind of manure volleys you’ll be taking when your unitard’s a little tight.

Karen
I’m ready for that.

Oswin
You’re a fat ass.

Karen
What?

Oswin
You’re a fat ass and you can’t keep to a rhythm to save your life.

Karen
Why are you–

Oswin
That hurt? Could you take it?

Karen
Yeah.

Oswin
Why don’t you go dance where bitches like you belong? I’ve got a few bucks waiting for your g-string.

Karen
Stop being–

Oswin
That hurt? Could you take it?

Karen
Yeah, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to–

Oswin
I’m trying to toughen you up, doof. If you can’t take it from a friend, how do you think you can take it from strangers?

Karen
You’re right. But could you not be as mean?

Oswin
I’m holding back. People with no connection to you won’t. People who hide behind anonymity are worse. Then there are some who spew bile just because they can. You wanna be at the top, you gotta be prepared for chaotic good and evil.

Karen
Chaotic good?

Oswin
I’ve seen every performance of yours and I’m your biggest fan. Your. Biggest. Fan. I know we don’t know each other, but I could tell that you’ve always been dancing for me. So let’s get married!

Karen
Those kind of men exist?

Oswin
Those kind of PEOPLE exist.

Karen
It can’t be that bad.

Oswin
There’s a woman who’s married to the Eiffel Tower. They even consummated it. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the Tower’s female, so it’s a Sapphic relationship.

Karen
What the fuck?

Oswin
Do you know about Real Dolls?

Karen
No…

Oswin
They’re sex dolls made out of silicone that look and feel pretty much like a real woman.

Karen
How long have they been around?

Oswin
Oh, for years and years! I haven’t looked into it but you could probably get one to look like a specific woman.

Karen
Why are you telling me about them?

Oswin
Because, there’s a good chance that someone’s gonna make one of you and explore all your silicone cavities.

Karen
That’s so wrong.

Oswin
And part of being on top.

Karen
But I won’t ask for any of that!

Oswin
No one up top does. Only the ones who want the drama don’t make it. Have you heard what happened to Björk a few years ago?

Karen
No…

Oswin
A fan broke into her house and killed themself.

Karen
What? Why?

Oswin
Can’t remember. Probably out of love. Or, “love.”

Karen
Why are people so fucked-up? I just wanna be the best dancer in the world. I don’t wanna deal with psychotics!

Oswin
But that’s part of the gig.

Karen
Why?

Oswin
Why what?

Karen
Why is it ok that I’d have to put up with crazy people fucking dolls that look like me or killing themselves because they love me so I can be the best?

Oswin
It’s the way it’s always been. And you’re gonna have to deal with liars. A lot of liars.

Karen
What would people lie about?

Oswin
Knowing you, dating you, fucking you, training you, raising you, making you, breaking you. Anything to get a bit of your spotlight.

Karen
Why is celebrity so important to these people?

Oswin
Something clicked, or snapped, and they figured that celebrity, no matter how much or how long, is worth everything.

Karen
The word feels like glass powder to me now.

Oswin
Look at YouTube. How many of those billions of videos do you think are worthwhile, and how many do you think are people looking for attention. Know about ipecac?

Karen
No…

Oswin
It’s a drug you take to induce vomiting. There are so many videos of people drinking that, and pranking people with that.

Karen
Why?

Oswin
Easy fame. People love a good trainwreck. I was at a party once and there was a stain on the carpet in the basement. Later that night, I found out that the host and his friends have a playlist them doing nothing but making themselves throw up.

Karen
But that’ll tear up their insides.

Oswin
And get them a few hits.

Karen
I… I…

Oswin
This is the world you’re entering by going to the top. Is it worth it? Is the pain and stupidity worth it? Is the joy and success still worth it?

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