Daily Dialogue: The Stumpflaagen

For 40 minutes a day, two imaginary women spit words like a machine gun through the keyboard.

Greta
Happy World Book Day!

Nicole
Everyday is a happy World Book Day to me.

Greta
C’mon, get into the spirit! Read a book!

Nicole
You’re telling a bibliophile to get excited about reading a book. It’s kinda our natural state of being.

Greta
Well, show some gusto, book addict.

Nicole
I average three novels a week. How much more gusto can a woman have?

Greta
Doing it with a smile. How about that?

Nicole
I don’t smile. Ah, I see what this is. I’m not playing into what’s expected of holiday cheer, and you’re having a conniption fit.

Greta
Pfft, I’m far from having a conniption fit.

Nicole
I refuse to play your game, anyway. Wait. Where’s your book? And how did you find out about today?

Greta
I have games, so I don’t need your pictureless worlds. And the internet told me.

Nicole
So… You’re “angry” with me because I’m not emoting and you don’t read? Americans.

Greta
Does the text in menus count?

Nicole
Nope.

Greta
Then, yeah, I don’t read.

Nicole
Why not? Books are fucking awesome.

Greta
Video games are awesomer.

Nicole
How?

Greta
You have the world in front of you and you can do anything in it. Save it, or punch everyone in the mush.

Nicole
How’s your brain?

Greta
My reaction time’s insane. And, AND I can lucid dream like you wouldn’t believe.

Nicole
If I were to tell you to imagine a… stumpflaagen, what would you say?

Greta
I would say “what the fuck” and ask if you were having a stroke.

Nicole
I’m serious. Imagine a stumpflaagen.

Greta
You just made that up.

Nicole
I know. Humor me. Give it a face.

Greta
How can I give a face to something you just made up? Gimme a break.

Nicole
Thanks.

Greta
For what?

Nicole
Proving my point.

Greta
You were making a point?

Nicole
Yeah.

Greta
You weren’t just having a stroke.

Nicole
Not even close.

Greta
What was your point?

Nicole
Imagination. Video games do most of the work for you, so your mind can be more passive. I thought about saying “lazy,” but you know how to throw a boot.

Greta
It’s all about the arc. How can you say that games do most of the work? Do you know how hard some of those puzzles are?

Nicole
I don’t mean the gameplay. I mean the stumpflaagen. The imagination. Generally, you don’t create much in games, except a mess.

Greta
Heh, yeah.

Nicole
Definitely not to the extent that you do in a novel.

Greta
You don’t create anything in a novel unless you wrote it.

Nicole
Again, you’re missing the stumpflaagen. All you have in a novel is words. It’s up to you to imagine what the world and its denizens look like. Because of that, not only can I invent a stumpflaagen, I can tell you what it looks like.

Greta
And what’s that?

Nicole
A peg leg with a flag tied to it.

Greta
Yeah, I guess I can see that.

Nicole
Visual mediums stunt your imagination. I’m not knocking them.

Greta
Sounds like you are.

Nicole
I’m just pointing out a fault. And another thing, why can’t people stop adapting things?

Greta
You want your prune juice and TV Guide?

Nicole
I’m serious. Not every novel and comic book needs to be put on the big screen. Or any screen. The same people who think it’s a great idea are the first people to complain that it’s not like the book.

Greta
Yeah, that’s true. Games get adapted, too. Not nearly as many books, but the end result is just as shitty.

Nicole
See? Why bother making compromises to the books, and your imagination, to make something that’s gonna be sub par?

Greta
Ooo, money!

Nicole
I’d love to see someone try to adapt that Gloomy Sunday of a book, “House of Leaves.”

Greta
Gloomy Sunday? “House of Leaves?”

Nicole
You’ve never heard of it? It’s also known as the suicide song. There was this legend around it that it was so depressing, people killed themselves listening to it. Didn’t help that suicide victims had that playing when they were found. “House of Leaves” is an insane novel that I assume anyone who’d try adapting it would kill themselves in the face of its impossibility.

Greta
Ah. I wouldn’t want any games adapted. Don’t see the point. It’s like trying to read something in German. English is a Germanic language and all, and you’d understand a few words, but the languages are just too different.

Nicole
That was pretty good.

Greta
Gamers can sometimes see the stumpflaagen.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: