Daily Dialogue: The Talking Cure(?)

Everyday, as long as I’m not down with the sickness, I write two made-up women talking to each other 40 minutes at a time with no idea of what they’ll say.

Angelica
Why do you only talk to me?

Reese
When?

Angelica
Whenever we’re out. No matter how many other people there are, you only talk to me.

Reese
You don’t like talking to me?

Angelica
Don’t try turning this in that direction, you know that’s not what I mean.

Reese
What do you mean, then?

Angelica
I want you to be a social animal.

Reese
Ha!

Angelica
I’m serious.

Reese
So am I. That was a serious laugh.

Angelica
Why is that funny?

Reese
You think that I wanna talk to only you? I didn’t mean it that way.

Angelica
I know you didn’t. And I’m not made of eggshells. I can take a jibe if it comes.

Reese
I don’t wanna take a jibe at– Forget it.

Angelica
No, go on.

Reese
Forget it. Forget it.

Angelica
No, I won’t. I wanna know why you’re… desperately selective when we’re out.

Reese
Because…

Angelica
Yeah?

Reese
Because I can’t… talk… to other people.

Angelica
Why, do they have cooties?

Reese
I’m serious. I can’t talk to other people.

Angelica
That’s silly. Because they’re strangers? I was a stranger once.

Reese
Yes, and you talked to me first.

Angelica
I still think that’s silly.

Reese
Thanks for being my anchor.

Angelica
I’m sorry, I’ve just never heard of that before. You mean, like you’re shy?

Reese
I mean, like it’s impossible.

Angelica
You just need to throw yourself in–

Reese
Don’t you think I’ve tried that? You think every waking moment I have I spend with you? I go out. Out to places where I’d have to be sociable. But I don’t speak until spoken to… and not in the mannerful way, either, so don’t think it’s like that.

Angelica
I wasn’t. I was gonna say–

Reese
I’m still talking.

Angelica
I know. I was just gonna say–

Reese
Shut up! You’re making me go on about something I’d rather not, the least you can do is let me say what I need to.

Angelica
Ok.

Reese
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.

Angelica
No, go on.

Reese
It’s just that… Anyway. I never talk to people when I’m out.

Angelica
Not with that attitude.

Reese
Don’t you fucking get it?! No matter what attitude I have when I’m out, it’s always the same. Positive, negative, whatever’s in between, it doesn’t matter. I. Can’t. Speak.

Angelica
Is it like you don’t have the will to?

Reese
It’s like my mouth is held down with weights. I tried breathing exercises, but they never worked.

Angelica
What are those?

Reese
I thought that if I took a deep breath in, I’d have to say something when I exhale.

Angelica
And they never worked?

Reese
I accidentally yawned once. Otherwise, no. C’mon, you’ve seen me in public. You must’ve seen me try to speak.

Angelica
I’ve seen you twitch in place and make awkward almost-steps.

Reese
That’s me trying.

Angelica
Oh.

Reese
And it’s impossible to convey that I’m a great person to talk to if you start the conversation.

Angelica
Yeah, that’s a bit much to fit on a t-shirt, even in this culture. I saw one with just a list of names on it. A long list, too.

Reese
That’s stupid.

Angelica
Wait, you’re a good person to talk to?

Reese
Ha. Ha.

Angelica
Another of your patented serious laughs?

Reese
Two of ’em. And it sucks because after people talk to me, they think I’m one of the best people in the world.

Angelica
Truth.

Reese
Which is the complete opposite of what people think who don’t talk to me. That cold bitch who stares at everyone.

Angelica
Also truth. Doesn’t help that your neutral face can be confused for your mean face.

Reese
Yeah… But I don’t care what people think, I really don’t. I don’t have the right to know what others think of me. And others don’t have the right to my life.

Angelica
Don’t even care a little?

Reese
Not a sliver of an iota.

Angelica
So why do you wanna talk to people?

Reese
I don’t, you’re the one who brought it up.

Angelica
Oh yeah. Talking to people gets you friends.

Reese
I’m satisfied with the friends I have. People in constant need to make new friends confuse me.

Angelica
Talking to people gets you laid.

Reese
Men can talk to me as nature intended.

Angelica
This is the 21st century, girl. You better get off your ass and Caramelldansen your way to a guy.

Reese
“Caramelldansen?”

Angelica
Oh yeah, you’re not into Japan. If you were, you’d know that there was once this super-poppy dance song called “Caramelldansen” and in the video, anime girls did a goofy dance. It’d be a great icebreaker.

Reese
I’m not dancing like an anime girl to a guy.

Angelica
Why, you can dance in public, either?

Reese
I can.

Angelica
That’s queer. Wait. You sing in public, too!

Reese
Yeah?

Angelica
Why can you sing and dance in public, yet you can’t start a convo under the gun?

Reese
I didn’t say I make sense. I’ll blame me being a woman… that bullshit excuse for weirdness still works, right?

Angelica
Not on this side of the Mason-Dixon line.

Reese
Crap.

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