Daily Dialogue: A Truth About Cheating

Marilyn
Why did you cheat on him?

Lina
Why this all of a sudden?

Marilyn
It’s been three years, I think the statute of limitations has passed of me not asking about my brother. Don’t worry, he’s not asking through me. I haven’t heard from him in almost two years. It’s just me here.

Lina
You wouldn’t understand.

Marilyn
Mean, kind, or a cheater?

Lina
Huh?

Marilyn
Those are the three reasons any woman cheats. “He’s, like, such a jerk!” “He’s nice… too nice, y’know?” “That bastard’s got his cock in some other broad/bastard!”

Lina
Wow, you’re right.

Marilyn
Which is it, then? Too mean? Beat you, was an alkie, something else?

Lina
No, he didn’t do any of those things.

Marilyn
Ah, too nice. Cooked, cleaned, was at your beck and call?

Lina
Ha, no.

Marilyn
That fucking fucker fucking fucked a–

Lina
Nice alliteration, but no. He was loyal.

Marilyn
Then… I’m confused.

Lina
I told you, you wouldn’t understand.

Marilyn
Try me.

Lina
No.

Marilyn
I’m serious, try me. I’m game, I’m an adult, I can take it.

Lina
I’m serious, no.

Marilyn
What do I have to do to prove it?

Lina
Why is it so important for you to hear it?

Marilyn
I need closure. You two were the power couple. The couple I wanted to be like if ever I found someone. Then you cheated on my brother and my world fell apart.

Lina
You act like we were dating.

Marilyn
I’m a big fan of living vicariously. You should see the neighborhood I’ve got in the last Sims.

Lina
You still play Sims? They still make Sims?

Marilyn
Right on both counts. Now that you’ve found out my deep, dark secret–

Lina
More like you up and told me with provocation.

Marilyn
–you can tell me why you cheated on my brother.

Lina
Oh no. If you think that revealing your fetish for a game–

Marilyn
It is SO not a fetish!

Lina
Whatever.

Marilyn
I don’t wanna fuck my Sims. Well…

Lina
Not even telling me THAT is worth me revealing my secret.

Marilyn
You’re serious. It’s that big a thing.

Lina
I loved your brother, and you need closure. I’m more than fine not telling anyone. Mighty fine.

Marilyn
So, what, I need to tell you a big secret?

Lina
Something you’d take with you with the worms or flames into the great nothing.

Marilyn
And if I tell you, you’ll tell me?

Lina
I swear on my Marquis de Sade collection.

Marilyn
Wow.

Lina
But I have to know that you’re telling me the truth. That your secret is really yours.

Marilyn
Why wouldn’t it be?

Lina
You’re a writer, which makes you a paid liar.

Marilyn
Yeah, there’s that… Ok, what should I swear on?

Lina
I think you know.

Marilyn
Fine. I swear on my Sims save.

Lina
All of them.

Marilyn
All? Damnit. All, then.

Lina
Pinky-shake on it?

Marilyn
Ok.

Lina
Now we seal with a Four Horsemen shot.

Marilyn
What’s that?

Lina
A shot of Jack Daniel’s, Jose Cuervo, and two other drinks with male names.

Marilyn
What the– Why?

Lina
Coffin nail for lying. I doubt either of us will keep any secrets after doing that shot.

Marilyn
Or dinner. Fine, load ’em up.

Lina
Two fingers.

Marilyn
A double-shot of– Ugh.

Lina
And… There.

Marilyn
Thanks. Really.

Lina
“I give my hope to men.”

Marilyn
“I keep none for myself.” FUCKTHATBURNS!!

Lina
ARGH!!

Marilyn
Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Whew. Ok.

Lina
Go first.

Marilyn
AND I gotta go first? Fuck, it’s hot. Gotta take this shirt off. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, I’m blaming you.

Lina
Noted.

Marilyn
GRRRRRRR!! Ok, I can feel my tongue now. But not my face. Whew. I used to… You better not tell anyone.

Lina
Twixt you, me, and the fallen horsemen.

Marilyn
I used to pretend, when I was a teenager and no one was home… I used to pretend I got raped.

Lina
Oh. Wow.

Marilyn
Stupid little-girl-trying-to-find-herself-sexually sorta thing. I found her, though, and she’s most certainly not a victim.

Lina
Wow. Do you have rape fantasies?

Marilyn
Nope.

Lina
Do rape scenes in movies get you off?

Marilyn
I told you, I fuckin’ grew out of it. Now. Why did you. Cheat on my brother?

Lina
I wanted to kill him.

Marilyn.
Oh. Wait, what?!

Lina
I don’t know why, but I wanted to kill him. I loved him and wanted to spend my life with him, but I also wanted to kill him. I even thought about how I’d do it.

Marilyn
How’d you do it?

Lina
Drop a penny on him while skydiving.

Marilyn
Get the fuck outta here!

Lina
What? An asteroid took out the dinosaurs, I’m sure a penny from the heavens can take out one guy.

Marilyn
You’re fuckin’ with me, right?

Lina
Heh, yeah. I didn’t think about how I’d do it, but the urge to kill was strong. I could feel it in the air.

Marilyn
Then why’d you cheat instead of kill him?

Lina
There’s more than one way to kill someone. He’s pretty much dead inside now, right?

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