Daily Dialogue: Love Versus Marriage, Part One

Scarlett
How’s David?

Angie
Good, and Thomas?

Scarlett
Peachy keen, side of sprinkles.

Angie
That good, eh?

Scarlett
Yeah, we spent a lot of time knee-deep in our work that we forgot that we hadn’t spent enough time with each other. We made up for it.

Angie
Is that why you came in bowlegged?

Scarlett
Hush you. And yes.

Angie
No shame in having a good time. David and I still do.

Scarlett
When was the last time you did?

Angie
Heh, don’t worry. We’re not one of those tragic married couples who stop fucking after the first year together. We still do it a few times a week, lest General Cramps starts his invasion.

Scarlett
You two let that stop you?

Angie
It’s a break, honey. Wait. You don’t let that stop you?

Scarlett
Fuck no! It’s sex without consequence.

Angie
I feel so dirty during my period.

Scarlett
So do I…

Angie
Oh. You’re one of those.

Scarlett
Yup.

Angie
Thomas doesn’t mind?

Scarlett
He doesn’t go earning his red badge of courage or anything like that. He just… fishes.

Angie
For red carp? I think I threw up a little.

Scarlett
Yes, and good. Carp?

Angie
It can smell like fish.

Scarlett
Yeah, if it’s terminal.

Angie
So he’ll fuck you on your period?

Scarlett
Not that he has a choice, but yes.

Angie
Sounds like love.

Scarlett
It’s been love for a long time.

Angie
When did you know?

Scarlett
I’ll let you tell me when you tell me when you knew with David. Because I’m quite positive I’m not nearly as romantic as you. Well, with this.

Angie
Oh? I’m not sure I wanna hear yours, but curiosity is a heck of a thing. He gave me a pyramid.

Scarlett
I didn’t know Africa was missing one.

Angie
I made an off-hand comment about me wanting one on our first date and a year or so after we were together, he gave me a tiny pyramid.

Scarlett
Aww…

Angie
Yeah. Out of little bricks. It was about a foot high.

Scarlett
Wait. He built you a pyramid? Like the slaves?

Angie
Not just like the slaves, but yeah.

Scarlett
Why haven’t you ever shown me?

Angie
Paranoia, dummy. I’m a firm believer of Murphy’s Law.

Scarlett
What’s that?

Angie
If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.

Scarlett
Oh.

Angie
And I’m not sure if you’d be killed harder by me or David if something happened to it. I’d rather not have to mail your body to the four winds.

Scarlett
I wouldn’t, either.

Angie
So it stays in a part of our house no one goes.

Scarlett
Fair enough. I don’t wanna tell you my story now because it’s so unromantic.

Angie
Too bad. You said you would, and no takesies-backsies.

Scarlett
You were warned.

Angie
I was warned.

Scarlett
I got really bad diarrhea, to the point where I was afraid of passing out on the toilet, and I begged Thomas to watch me and make sure I didn’t knock myself unconscious on the sink if I passed out and die. And he did.

Angie
I was warned.

Scarlett
I told you.

Angie
It was romantic, just… stinky.

Scarlett
Yeah, yeah… But it’s hard to not love a guy who’d go through THAT for you.

Angie
And hard to not be in love before agreeing to do that. Did you pass out?

Scarlett
No, gladly. When I was… done, he carried me to my bed and held me ’til I had to use the bathroom again.

Angie
Aww… I think.

Scarlett
He also made me promise to dress up like Wonder Woman when I felt better.

Angie
Ooo, role-play. Did you?

Scarlett
I’d be a righteous bitch if I didn’t. It was fun. He used my Lasso of Truth on me, and I said stuff like “harder” and “right there.”

Angie
Sounds fun.

Scarlett
Twas. You dress-up?

Angie
All the time. David thinks it’s always his idea, and I don’t see the harm in letting him think so.

Scarlett
Are the costumes more your idea or his? Thomas usually comes up with them since I’m slow with that sort of thing. The best idea I ever had was a naughty nurse.

Angie
I dressed up as Doctor Who once. Well… more like I wrapped that big scarf around me and hid my Sonic Screwdriver in a comfortable place.

Scarlett
Your TARDIS?

Angie
Shhh…

Scarlett
Damn, that’s hot!

Angie
That scarf was itchy, though. So it didn’t stay on long. But it wasn’t meant to be.

Scarlett
I think if I did that, Thomas would have a giggle fit.

Angie
Why would he laugh at you?

Scarlett
Because he’d be so excited.

Angie
Oh. That’s cute.

Scarlett
Yeah.

Angie
When does he usually giggle?

Scarlett
When I wear a costume that works out a lot better than he thought.

Angie
Like what?

Scarlett
The catsuit Emma Peel’s known for in that 60’s show, The Avengers.

Angie
You can pull that off?

Scarlett
That’s more Thomas’ job, but yeah.

Angie
I tried doing the Catwoman look from Batman Returns, but I squeaked too much. All that vinyl.

Scarlett
You should practice walking around for a while when he’s not home. Emma’s suit is leather and I was afraid of the squeaking, so I practiced my wiggle and… good times.

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One Response to “Daily Dialogue: Love Versus Marriage, Part One”

  1. I just about pissed myself laughing at your Tardis reference! Just an FYI….

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