Daily Dialogue: Love Versus Marriage, Part Two

Angie
How long have you been with Thomas?

Scarlett
When did that one movie come out… Thirteen years.

Angie
Thirteen years and no wedding bells?

Scarlett
Nah. How long have have you and David been married?

Angie
We dated for about a year and have been married for almost five.

Scarlett
Did you propose?

Angie
What? No, he did like he was supposed to. Asked me out, too.

Scarlett
Oh.

Angie
“Oh?”

Scarlett
I guess I’m too modern.

Angie
You asked him out?

Scarlett
Yeah.

Angie
But… It’s so nerve-wrecking.

Scarlett
It’s the same for guys, too. I just got tired of wondering about all the guys I could’ve been with if I made the first move. Thomas was my first first move.

Angie
Did you do all the wining and dining?

Scarlett
It was a back-and-forth between us. He’d do it, I’d do it, we’d do it, he’d do it, we’d do it, I’d do it, and on and on.

Angie
I like the wining and dining. Especially when I don’t have to pay for it. Is he your Neo?

Scarlett
Yeah, and he didn’t need to take a red pill or die or anything.

Angie
How did you know?

Scarlett
I told you about the bathroom a few minutes ago.

Angie
That’s love. You can love lots of people. But, like a Highlander, there can be only One.

Scarlett
Oh, I get you. I don’t know, really. We dated and dated and dated and DATED until, one day, I had a place to hang my cunt.

Angie
That’s a very strange visual. Just so you know.

Scarlett
Oh, I know. When David proposed, were you ready?

Angie
I wasn’t ready until I was on my way to the wedding reception.

Scarlett
Wow, that long? How soon did you say “yes?”

Angie
Before he asked me.

Scarlett
Weirdo. How could you do that?

Angie
Wanting to get married and being afraid of getting married are two different things. I’m sure there have been things you’ve wanted and were afraid of.

Scarlett
I plead the fifth.

Angie
Silence insinuates agreement.

Scarlett
Yeah, yeah…

Angie
Marriage has never crossed your mind?

Scarlett
No, loving my mad scientist is enough.

Angie
Thomas is a scientist?

Scarlett
No, it’s my pet name for him. He’s my mad scientist and I’m his earth goddess.

Angie
Why?

Scarlett
He’s an Atheist and I’m a Wiccan.

Angie
Isn’t that like matter and antimatter?

Scarlett
I like science, and he said that Wicca is the one religion that pisses him off the least. It’s the most I could hope for, and I’ve tried to hope for more. He doesn’t touch my herbs or bother me when I pray. That’s good enough for me.

Angie
Ever dressed like a witch for him?

Scarlett
Funny enough, no. I never asked him why but it’s either because he’s too respectful or thinks they’re too tacky.

Angie
Would you?

Scarlett
Yeah.

Angie
Isn’t the broom and pointed hat an affront to you all, or something?

Scarlett
Yeah, but I’d be taking control of it like how the gay community reappropriated the pink triangle.

Angie
Huh?

Scarlett
Nazis used the pink triangle as a way to mark gays and do bad things to them. Now, it’s a badge of pride.

Angie
It’d be great if they could all get married already.

Scarlett
Yeah.

Angie
I thought you were against marriage.

Scarlett
They aren’t given a chance to. I’d rather someone not get married because they didn’t want to, not because they couldn’t.

Angie
I couldn’t stand not being able to do what I wanted to.

Scarlett
Yeah.

Angie
Or needing a man.

Scarlett
…really? But, marriage.

Angie
I love David with every fiber of my being, but I don’t need him.

Scarlett
OH SHIT, A SPIDER!!

Angie
DAVID, HELP ME!!

Scarlett
Heh. Guess you need a man, in the end.

Angie
That’s not fair.

Scarlett
Why?

Angie
Spiders are monsters of nature and need to be destroyed.

Scarlett
They help balance out nature.

Angie
They can balance nature under my shoe.

Scarlett
Why don’t you like spiders?

Angie
I don’t “not like” spiders: I loathe them. I abhor them. I–

Scarlett
Insert college word…

Angie
I hate them. Better?

Scarlett
Yeah.

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