Daily Dialogue: There Can Be Only One

Lene
How long has it been since we last saw each other? A century? Two?

Amber
The week before Ripper Jack started his Whitechapel Routine.

Lene
Wow, that long ago? What’s been keeping you busy?

Amber
Headhunters.

Lene
Heh. Oh yeah. I can use that as my excuse, too. What parts of the world have you been to?

Amber
Part. I’ve been where you found me.

Lene
Utah? Why would you spend almost 200 years in Utah? Nothing happens there.

Amber
Exactly. Not many immortals would– Fuck, not many mortals would wanna go there. It was a relatively peaceful life, and it’s always fun to mess with Mormons.

Lene
How do you mess with them?

Amber
Leap off a building to my death, get back up, that sort of thing.

Lene
Still the same Amber.

Amber
There’s not much else to do there.

Lene
Why not go to another place that’s a little more fun?

Amber
There are so many zealots here that the entire state is practically holy ground. An immortal comes after my head and I think I can’t fight them, I can just shuffle over a few inches to one of thousands of religious sites.

Lene
It’s like that there? Wow.

Amber
What about you? Where have you been?

Lene
After we left England, I started missing Russia since I spent so much time there with Catherine the Great.

Amber
Didn’t you fight for her a few times?

Lene
And fought with her, but we always made up. Even now, I still fall for a woman with a Russian accent. Anyway, after spending a few months there, I remembered why I left.

Amber
The weather?

Lene
And I haven’t been back since.

Amber
Where’d you go next?

Lene
A completely different climate. Cuba was nice for a few decades, but I had to leave once Castro and Che started making their ruckus.

Amber
Why?

Lene
They didn’t take kindly to Caucasians. I could only imagine what would happen if they caught one who couldn’t die.

Amber
At least you could’ve had a lifetime supply of Cuban cigars.

Lene
I hate smoking.

Amber
At least you could’ve given me a lifetime supply of Cuban cigars.

Lene
I didn’t know when I’d see you again, and I sure as fuck wasn’t gonna lug around a crate for time immemorial.

Amber
I guess. Where were you in the 80’s?

Lene
Far, far away. The southern tip of South America. How did you survive the Gathering?

Amber
I didn’t participate.

Lene
What? It happened in New York. I was half a world away and still felt the pull to it.

Amber
Had someone lock me in a dungeon until 1992.

Lene
They have dungeons in Utah?

Amber
They have a lot of things you wouldn’t believe.

Lene
Connor killed the Kurgan…

Amber
He did indeed.

Lene
Y’know, I thought it was gonna be Jacob Kell.

Amber
Yeah, that would’ve turned out marvelously for all of us. One psychotic immortal with hundreds of head trophies being killed and absorbed by another psychotic immortal with hundreds of head trophies. He would’ve been Caligula, Richard III, Polpot, and Vince McMahon rolled into one.

Lene
Vince McMahon? The guy who ran that wrestling company?

Amber
Yeah, I’ve been watching old wrestling matches and he’s been getting on my nerves.

Lene
Why have you been watching wrestling matches?

Amber
New swordfighting styles.

Lene
You’re gonna have to explain that one.

Amber
An immortal I fought a century or so ago, Maxard St–

Lene
You killed Maxard Stane? Good job, girl.

Amber
Barely. He stabbed a tree truck through me and hacked an arm off. It took HOURS for it to reattach itself.

Lene
He fought with a tree trunk?

Amber
No, it was nearby.

Lene
You killed him with one arm, with a tree inside you? I am impressed.

Amber
Y’know, once you said it out loud, I got a little impressed. But that’s not the point. He knew aikido.

Lene
What’s that?

Amber
A non-swordfighting technique that uses an opponent’s energy against them. After surviving that, I figured that I should maybe broaden my pallet. So I started learning other styles.

Lene
How’d you happen upon wrestling?

Amber
In my dungeon, I watched Wrestlemania III or IV… whichever one was outside and had Cyndi Lauper.

Lene
You were into Cyndi Lauper?

Amber
Am into. Into the Night and True Colors still bring a tear to my eye when I sing them at karaoke bars. So, she was there and I got my first experience of wrestling that wasn’t in some gentleman’s muddy backyard. And I was hooked. It didn’t click to incorporate wrestling moves in my repertoire until the late-90’s. Since then, I’ve been untouchable.

Lene
Oh yeah? Have any practice swords lying around?

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