Daily Dialogue: Harley and Ivy vs. the Brotherhood

Harley
I get knocked down! But I get up again! And yer never gonna keep me down! I get kn–

Ivy
Why, in the name of all that’s green, are you singing that song?

Harley
‘Cause it’s true, Red!

Ivy
Could you think of a less-annoying way to be a weeble-wobble?

Harley
A wha? Are ya drunk or somethin’?

Ivy
A weeble-wobble. You know, those balloon toy things that you stand up straight no matter how many times you push it.

Harley
Ooo! I want one.

Ivy
You can’t have one.

Harley
Why not?

Ivy
What made you start singing?

Harley
I told ya already.

Ivy
No, you didn’t.

Harley
Oh yeah. I socked a guy in tha mouth with a baseball bat.

Ivy
Uh… huh.

Harley
Don’t worry, he deserved it.

Ivy
I’m not worried about that, most men deserve it.

Harley
He called me a bimbo!

Ivy
People still use that word?

Harley
Actually, he used another b-word, but my delicate female sensibilities can’t ever repeat such a word.

Ivy
Was there anyone around who saw?

Harley
Piles!

Ivy
Damnit, Harley, I don’t wanna have to move again because yet ANOTHER city wants us dead.

Harley
We don’t haveta worry about that. They were piling on tha guy.

Ivy
Why would they do that?

Harley
It’s what happens when you use that b-thing at a feminist convention.

Ivy
YOU were at a feminist convention?

Harley
I had to use tha bathroom, an’ they had free entry. More conventions need ta be free. There was one in San Diego I went to that charged SO–

Ivy
Why would a guy call a woman a bi–

Harley
B-word!

Ivy
–at a feminist convention?

Harley
He was with some other folk across tha street protestin’.

Ivy
Why would a group of guys–

Harley
And broads.

Ivy
What?!

Harley
Stockholm Syndrome’s a crazy thing, Red.

Ivy
Why would they protest so close to something that empowers women?

Harley
The mob descended too quickly fer me ta ask. I couldn’t hear over tha screams, anyway.

Ivy
Were they bloodcurdling?

Harley
Worthy of a Gothic novel.

Ivy
That’s what I like to hear.

Harley
I even recorded it!

Ivy
I’ll probably regret asking but, why?

Harley
For my new band.

Ivy
We’re wanted criminals, remember?

Harley
That’s why it’ll be an electronic band, silly. Just me an’ a computer an’ some mad beats, yo!

Ivy
Please don’t ever say that again.

Harley
Yess’m. I also managed ta snag one a’ their flyers.

Ivy
Oh?

Harley
Part a’ it’s torn off an’ half a’ it’s covered in blood and shame, but ya can get the gist a’ it.

Ivy
“The Brotherhood of Brotherhood?”

Harley
I didn’t say they were tha most creative hatemongers.

Ivy
“…liberate the rights of men back from the lessers…”

Harley
Hey, yer skin’s startin’ ta change color.

Ivy
“…back on their backs with a smile…”

Harley
Yer skin matches yer hair now, Red! Uh oh…

Ivy
“…where they belong…” Where is this convention?

Harley
Uh… What convention?

Ivy
The one with the soon-to-be-ripped-to-pieces-by-my-hands idiots out in front.

Harley
Ya don’t have ta worry about them. They’re all hospitalized.

Ivy
Where’s the hospital?

Harley
We’re wanted criminals, remember?

Ivy
We’ll be a little more wanted, then. Or a lot more. Depends on if I leave one breathing.

Harley
But there’s more than one way ta get revenge.

Ivy
None are more satisfying.

Harley
Ya really wanna go back ta tha clink fer those dummies, Red?

Ivy
…no.

Harley
Calm down an’ talk ta me fer a while, then.

Ivy
How do I get revenge that doesn’t involve me getting shipped back to Arkham?

Harley
By bein’ yerself, silly.

Ivy
Huh?

Harley
Tha Brotherhood a’ Brotherhood–

Ivy
Such a stupid name…

Harley
–stands for everythin’ yer not. Right?

Ivy
Yeah.

Harley
So, what better way ta get revenge than tha keep bein’ you?

Ivy
I’m also a murderer, in case you forgot.

Harley
But yer not only a murderer, are ya?

Ivy
No… I guess.

Harley
What else are ya?

Ivy
A woman who won’t let anyone think that they can control or take advantage of me.

Harley
Yup!

Ivy
A woman who lives her life at her standards and no one else’s.

Harley
Yup yup!

Ivy
A woman who loves herself and won’t let anyone stop her from doing that.

Harley
Yup yup yup!

Ivy
Thanks, Harley.

Harley
No problemo.

Ivy
What was the name of that feminist convention?

Harley
Uh… Tha Sisterhood a’ Sisterhood.

Ivy
You’re kidding.

Harley
Nope. I got one a’ those flyers, too.

Ivy
Ugh. I need a drink.

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