Miseria Sanguinis

Bliss is in the foolish hearts that still throb
Dull drums suspended in wet cages
Baiting those anarchic to nature’s demands
To slumber
To wane
To hunger for normalcy

I was such as them once… the blissful
Before my Day of Dying
Death implies finality
And I madly dance on its cusp
Serenaded by fleshy percussions
Rhythms I cannot ignore or enjoy
All I can do is listen
Dance
Taste

As my fingers trace the Dying Marks upon my neck
While I soar above mortality, above morality
And below the billowing vapor
My mind wanders
Like the vulture lustful for carrion
To when I was a desperate bride
When I was loved
And so full of bliss
I expect the halcyon-stained vision
To bring warmth from inside
Stillness.. shivers… sorrow
I want to rend the hail within me
But that would bring finality
I spitefully tear at the sacs on my chest
Those relics of femininity
I can hear the red slivers slap sickly miles below
Soon, my relics erupt from me
Snapshots before my Day of Dying
My weakness churns my abstract hunger
My fangs thirst eagerly
Children are oh, so blissful
And all are slumbering unprotected

Do not hate me for this
Do not love or pity me
Emotions make the drums tremble louder
You might find me dancing at your window

black-woman-watercolor-painting-christina2

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3 Responses to “Miseria Sanguinis”

  1. This is disturbingly deep – even beyond the potent imaginary of a female vampire ripping at her chest while bellowing for what she cannot have. I love how you have humanized her and frankly, I love the image you chose to accompany this – how it shows a fractured sense of self.

    • I’ll start with copping to borrowing your thing of attaching pictures to art. I took a sidestep, though, and stuck with watercolors. I can’t remember you using them, I’ve always been a fan of them, and I’ve recently gotten into an artist who uses them magnificently. He’s a comic book creator, David Mack, and also works in mixed media. Look him up and if he makes you an insta-fan, I urge you to get DREAM LOGIC. It’s a collection of random works as well as explanations and interactions with fans and other artists. It’s like having an IV drip full of inspiration. Then there’s his series, KABUKI. The basic premise is that a Japanese assassin tries leaving her organization, but there’s so much more to it than that. The premise is just an excuse to do beautiful, grand, surreal introspections for hundreds of pages. I feel like Morpheus to your Neo trying to explain the Matrix that is KABUKI: you have to experience it for yourself. The great thing about the internet is that you can look up art and stuff without having to commit a single penny. But I sure hope you take that red pill, Mr. Anderson.

      Now, the poem. I’m a huge vampire fan, but I’ll be the first to say that they’ve been on hard times lately. I like mine tortured or insane, and amoral, so I’m glad that this bout of selfishness resonated with people. And that the picture affected you that way (I inverted the colors because everything was too bright). What about it is so deeply disturbing for you?

    • Oh yeah. If you wondered what my brand of misery sounded like coming from mouths, wonder no more. Here’s a short film I wrote recently: https://vimeo.com/166129782/23d34c5770

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